Category Archives: Headlies

The latest pro graps newz you won’t get anywhere else. Because it probably isn’t true. Probably.

Headlies: JTG Hiding From WWE Officials To Avoid Being Future Endeavored

15 Submitted by on Tue, 21 May 2013, 09:00
Kansas City, MO – Current WWE Superstar JTG has spent the past few days avoiding several WWE officials in an effort to keep his job with the company. Once one-half of the tag-team Cryme Tyme, the seldom-used wrestler has managed to stay on the company payroll despite lacking any sort of push or character growth. This past Friday saw several Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Konnan Set To Become The Newest Judge On American Idol

4 Submitted by on Wed, 15 May 2013, 10:00
San Diego, CA – Following the departure of longtime judge Randy Jackson, FOX and 19 Entertainment are proud to announce the addition of former WWE, WCW, TNA, and AAA wrestler Konnan to the judge’s table. The announcement came as a surprise to some in the pop culture world, but host Ryan Seacrest explained how Konnan fits in with the American Continue Reading...
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Headlies: “Ryback Rules” Explained

11 Submitted by on Sun, 12 May 2013, 14:53
  We’ve been hearing Ryback say it for weeks, but nobody has had the time or determination to hash out exactly what “Ryback Rules” really are. Fear not, for we have compiled the five most important. 1. Ryback is allowed to look like Kermit the Frog (see lack of, neck). 2. Ryback is allowed to skip dentist appointments (and does…alot). Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Sin Cara Literally Caught Up In The Lights

9 Submitted by on Fri, 10 May 2013, 10:00
Shreveport, LA – During a house show at the Hirsch Memorial Coliseum, WWE Superstar Sin Cara performed a high risk maneuver that saw him literally get caught up in the lights of the arena. The incident occurred about halfway through the show in match between Sin Cara and Drew McIntyre. Everything was going according to plan when Sin Cara attempted Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Batista Set To Debut In Elementary School Play

15 Submitted by on Tue, 07 May 2013, 10:00
Washington, DC – After a brief Mixed Martial Arts career and various minor movie roles, former WWE Superstar Dave Batista has decided to try his hand at stage acting. Rather than trying for Broadway, Batista will be enrolling in Mrs. Mullin’s third grade class at Janney Elementary school in Washington, DC. “After conquering the world of MMA with an undefeated Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE Forces Jerry Lawler to Shill For The Heart Attack Grill

20 Submitted by on Thu, 02 May 2013, 10:00
Las Vegas, NV – During a meeting of top WWE officials, Vince McMahon announced a new partnership with the Heart Attack Grill fast food restaurant. He also plans to have WWE Hall of Famer Jerry “The King” Lawler as their official spokesman. “It’s all about synergy!” said Vince McMahon. “Nothing says “Wrestling Entertainment” like fast food. Over the past few Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE Defends “Be A Star” Program After Bully Busick Matches Surface On Youtube

10 Submitted by on Mon, 29 April 2013, 10:00
Weirton, WV – WWE’s anti-bullying campaign program “Be A Star” has come under fire recently after videos on Youtube have surfaced showing that they once employed a wrestler by the name of “Big Bully Busick”. Decked out in a derby hat, cigar, and bushy handlebar mustache, Busick entered the World Wrestling Federation under the tutelage of manager Harvey Wippleman. Several Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Artist Jill Thompson Tired Of Making ‘Cool’ Designs For Wrestlers

1 Submitted by on Thu, 25 April 2013, 11:00
Chicago, IL- Artist Jill Thompson, who has designed ring gear and attire for both WWE Superstars Daniel Bryan and CM Punk, has stated that she no longer wants to make “cool” designs for professional wrestlers, Thompson, who is most famous for her work in the comics The Sandman, Wonder Woman, Swamp Thing, and her own series Scary Godmother, has grown Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE To Produce “Buddy Cop” Movie Starring CM Punk And Mark Henry

18 Submitted by on Tue, 23 April 2013, 10:00
Stamford, CT – During a meeting at Titan Towers, WWE CEO Vince McMahon announced plans to release a new movie under through WWE Studios that will turn the failing studio around. “I’ve got a great new idea for our next movie,” barked Mr. McMahon. “I watched a new movie called ‘Lethal Weapon’ last night on laser disc and thought it Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Ryback’s Insatiable Appetite Forces A Golden Corral Buffet To Close

17 Submitted by on Fri, 19 April 2013, 10:01
  Spartansburg, SC – Following his biting promo on this week’s Monday Night RAW in Greenville, South Carolina, WWE Superstar Ryback had a celebratory meal at a Golden Corral. Unfortunately for the restaurant, Ryback’s chant of “Feed me more!” proved disastrous to their bottom line, forcing them to close. “We were so excited to have a real celebratory eating dinner Continue Reading...
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