INDUCTION: WCW.com – A Dead Site Lives at WrestleCrap.com!

73 Submitted by on Thu, 02 November 2017, 02:00

wcwdotcoma

WCW, 2000

As I think everyone knows, Matt over at Dinosaur Dracula (formerly x-entertainment) and I have been buddies for years.  I mean, it’s not like we talk all the time, or even have each other on speed dial…so maybe “buddies” is a stretch.  Still, we’ve respected each other’s work since I started WrestleCrap.com back in 2000.  I consider him, in many ways, a genius, an absurdly talented writer who uncovers something new just when you think he’s strip mined every last possible piece of pop culture of the last 30 years.  And he does so in a satirical, humble, nearly self deprecating style that I truly admire.

Every few years he and I start kicking around the idea of doing a book together.  Ok, it’s really more of me asking him to do one with me, but you catch the drift.  In fact, one of the original ideas for a follow up to the first WrestleCrap book was to do a book with Matt that I basically dubbed ToyCrap: The Very Worst Toys from Our Childhood.  It never came to pass (I wound up penning Death of WCW with Bryan Alvarez instead), but it’s always something I’ve had in the back of my mind that I’d love to pursue one day if Matt and I could find the time.

I bring up DinoDrac today for a very specific reason: I’m going to blatantly steal an idea Matt came up with over there.  It’s a feature he runs called “Deadsites”.  He unearths old websites that have long since expired and explores them, finding healthy doses of nostalgia contained in nearly every single one.

Today I am going to do the same thing…with a little site called WCW.com.

wcwdotcom0a

Just looking at that gives me about a thousand avenues I could drive down.

A dude bent over in front of Norman Smiley!

A banner ad calling me SLAPPY!

THUNDER!

To say I am palpitating would be an amazing understatement.

slappy

I mean seriously, the banner ads that populate this thing are jaw dropping.  I bet I could have done an induction just on those alone.  Not only do we get references to Slapnuts Blvd, we get Buff Bagwell shilling credit cards!

masterbank120.1

Yeah, get stuff!  With a WCW MasterCard!  Somewhere, John Thomas of Chase Meridian Mastercharge is thinking about what could have been.

appetite

And that ain’t Ryback – it’s Bill Goldberg shilling the Nitro Grill in Vegas!

1800collect

Poor Lee Marshall doesn’t get his proper respect, though – he just gets a boring text hyper link.  On the plus side, I have updated my Facebook page once again pleading for the WWE Network to do a behind the scenes documentary of his Road Reports.

1800collect2

How many different ways can I call Bobby Heenan a weasel?  Would you believe 537?

Man.  This is just good times.

Unfortunately, a lot of the links no longer work, but that’s not going to keep me from TRYING them all out.  In fact, let’s just start at the top left and work our way down!

fallbrawl

We start out with Pay-Per-View, and learn that our next event is Fall Brawl.  I love that the page not only has my eyes bleeding (a red background with yellow and orange text??), but that it lists “ANNOUNCED MATCHES” and reminds us that “all matches subject to change.”

You’ll note there’s just one match listed…so don’t get your heart set on Kevin Nash versus Booker T, cuz it may not happen. Watch Nitro and Thunder to find out, kids!

nitroteamcanada

Speaking of Nitro, a recap of it is next on our agenda.  And when I say “recap”, I literally mean that; it looks identical to what you see on many wrestling sites even to this day.  Well, for Raw and shows that are actually still on the air, that is.  Anyhoo, this show sounded stupendous.  Or maybe just stupid.  I’ll let you make the call with these highlights:

davidflairinterview

nashinterview

I could be mistaken, but I am pretty sure Goldberg was a babyface at this time.  A good, old fashioned, woman beating babyface apparently.

Also, I really hope one day WWE.com does a “Where are they now?” with David Flair and he is still wearing muddy clothes.

I’m also wildly intrigued by this sidebar ad:

reload

Yep, the Nitro PRE-show, the one before the event, was call REload for some reason.  I’ve been staring at that graphic for over a week and still can’t even begin to comprehend how anyone thought that made a lick of sense.  So I guess I’ll just, nod, smile, and say that’s a delightfully WCW thing to do.

Speaking of delightfully WCW, let’s move onto Thunder!

thunder0 thunder1

I won’t lie – I have zero interest in attempting to make with the ha ha on Jeff Jarrett hitting 27 people with a guitar over the course of two hours.  Especially when there were other more pressing matters on the show including…

thunder3

…a match with SMOKEY MARK MADDEN.  I’d write more about this, but I’m going to pass for two reasons:

1) Years ago, I inducted that match and Mark Madden himself was so furious he sent me about a half dozen hate mails defending himself and telling me how I was an idiot.

2) Madden did not, in fact, dress up like the REAL Smokey, Sheriff Buford T. Justice, for the match.

Actually, let’s make it…

3) Something far more important needs discussion time:

thunder2

Kwee Wee!  

kweewee

Holy crap, I had almost forgotten about Kwee Wee!

How that gimmick has never been given a solo induction here borders on criminal.  Like if IPD showed up at the Reynolds Ranch and put me in cuffs citing me for such a crime, I doubt I’d even hire a lawyer to try to get me out of the pen.

Short story…shorter…Kwee Wee was a violent wardrobe designer.  And those aren’t MY words, they are straight from WCW themselves.  Here’s a recap of his match from Nitro that week:

thunder5

And Papaya…who the heck was Papaya?  Legitimately could not remember.  I thought maybe it was Chiquita, but nope.

Reason #9,743 that this company went out of business: having so many people on the roster they had not one, but TWO women named after fruit.

In fact, let’s move forward and check out the roster, courtesy of the SUPERSTARS link!
superstars1

Ok, I am looking at that picture, and I am not entirely sure who it even is.  My gut reaction is Torrie Wilson, but she doesn’t look QUITE like Torrie Wilson.  I mean, if Torrie Wilson had OD’ed on Smylex, yeah, maybe.

I’d click through the entire roster to find out who it is, but seriously, look at this thing:

superstars2

And poor Papaya didn’t even get a page!

She didn’t, but someone named CHAMELEON did:

chameleon

I’d always thought a Chameleon character in wresting would be great – a guy who would do the moves of whomever he was facing.  Then Damien Sandow kinda did it, and well, God bless the poor guy, but it got old pretty quick.

Clicking on Chameleon actually takes me to ANOTHER site, this one dedicated solely to the Nitro Girls.  A quick glance at that site tells me there’s enough material for another whole induction if folks like this one, so I’ll let it be for now, instead choosing to focus on the banner ad at the top of the page:

iwatch_wcw_468x60

You know how WWE likes to plug their second screen experience like they are trailblazers or something?

WCW was doing it FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.

WITH THUNDER!!!!

I rue the day that I didn’t take advantage of it. I don’t have a lot of regrets in my life, but not utilizing this earth shattering technology during the episode where Nash and DDP talked about Scott Hall (whose name got repeatedly beeped out) while they stared at a swinging light is now one of them.

Speaking of, I like that Hall and Nash not only got individual pages, but The Outsiders got one as well, which contained this precious nugget I’d never heard before:

outsiders

Guess we can put the kibosh on the idea that the glory days of tag team wrestling are over due to Vince McMahon.  Nope, it’s all due to Hall and Nash obliterating every other tag team in the world.

Let’s check out the gimmick table!

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Somewhere, Paul Kraft is salivating.

I’ll leave most of this for future Someone Bought This, but I can’t see these items and not comment on at least a few of them.

wcwgear2

Seriously, this was the front page of WCW Gear.

These were the hot items they thought people would want to fork over real money to obtain.  I mean, I get that the New Blood was a top act being pushed (agreed that I need to write about that atrocity with the blood that could never hit anyone being tossed from the ceiling).  And yes, Norman Smiley was…well, ummm, a thing as well for a few months.

But that Sting Teddy Bear…look, we’ve covered a ton of stupid wrestling bears on this site over the years, ranging from ones with  hand prints on its boobies (here) to ones that looked like cocaine dealers (here) to that goofy one from the WrestleMania in New Orleans (here) to the legit greatest thing we’ve ever done on the site, and that was reuniting a young girl with a teddy bear she’d lost (here).

I’ll need to watch the happy video on that last one about 500 times to get past the horrifying Sting Teddy Bear.  Really, that may be the scariest thing I’ve ever posted on the site, and we’ve had GIFs of Blade Braxton, Vincent Verhei, Sean Carless, Dr. Keith, and myself attempting the Das Wunderkind dance (here).

Sadly, the link doesn’t work for me to find out what the Battle Royal Nitro cologne set is all about.  I’d like to think three bottles of cologne with a free CD wherein Brian Knobbs screams proper application directions.

I generally believe that Brian Knobbs screaming anything makes life better.

bottom

There is a small section at the bottom with some general stuff, such as feedback.  It goes to feedback@wcw.com.  I sent them an email requesting that they update their site.  I’ll keep you posted on any response.  Key to all of these items, though would be VIDEO STORE LOCATOR.

Let’s give that a whirl!

videostorelocator2Well, that’s certainly a bummer.  Where am I going to get Best of Halloween Havoc now?

I thought that was the end of the website, but OH NO!  There’s even more goodies at the bottom:

bottomofpage

Ain’t no weekend like a WCWeekend, I always say.  In this section, we get an interview with Chavo Guerrero called Rough Cut:

roughcut

Don’t feel bad, Chavito – it ain’t making much impact on our lives either.

BUT…with that said…this section of the site is perhaps the most bizarre of all of them.  You get the expected interviews like the ones above, but let’s say you wanted reviews of Andy Sidaris films?

roughcut2

THIS SITE HAS YOU COVERED!

In fact, there is so much downright wacko stuff here that I am definitely going to leave it for a future column.  So if you hate this induction, odds are you going to hate that one too. It will give you something to look forward to!

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There’s also a section for the Nitro Grill, but unfortunately, Father Time has not been kind to this area as we get lots of broken links and missing images.  So while we do find out that a Goldberger is essentially a one-way trip to the hospital for under $10…

chartbusters

…I still lack the photographic evidence I’ve long searched for proving that I once had a Booker T Bone with a side of Onion Rings of Saturn.

One day.  One day.

So there you have it – the first ever Deadsites at WrestleCrap.com.

Love it?

Hate it?

Voice your opinions below!

Written by

Yeah, you know…the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I’m on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I’m on there not quite so often).

Thanks, and Keep on Crappin’!

73 Responses to "INDUCTION: WCW.com – A Dead Site Lives at WrestleCrap.com!"
  1. Alfonzo Tydon says:

    Don’t blame me, I’ve been begging you to do a Keee Wee induction for years!

    If you’ve ever seen those Mango skits from Saturday Night Live that what’s basically Kwee Wee’s gimmick.

  2. Sean O says:

    Think you could find ECW.com? I wonder what that would have been like.

    Or an archive of WWE back when it was WWF?

  3. Sean Bateman says:

    what’s next? ECWWrestling.com????

  4. Rocker234 says:

    Love it. The fact that someone actually managed to save an image of the Nitro Grill menu made it worthwhile, never mind all the other great stuff to be found here! 😀

    • Isaac says:

      I tried to order the Sting Burger, but they brought out the Hogan Burger instead. The waiter then informed me that the Hogan Burger would never give up its spot, brother.

      • Isaac says:

        The Sting burger was really great because until sometime in 1999 they used to drop it down onto your plate from the ceiling.

    • Guest says:

      I had the sting burger once and then I had to flush it down the toilet.

  5. Jimbolian says:

    Love it!

    I could almost hear my old 56k modem dial up reading this article.

    Interesting to see they got “Crippler Crossface Cheesesteak” when Benoit was already in WWF. Also, I would love to meet the person who actually doled out the money to get a private party at the WCW Nitro Grill.

  6. Hulk6785 says:

    I’m gonna start calling people “slapnuts.” That needs to be brought back.

  7. TV's Mr. Neil says:

    Two reasons why I miss the 90s:

    1. WCW

    2. Andy Sidaris films

  8. Al says:

    Welp, nobody’s ordering that cheesesteak again.
    Unless maybe Cesaro opens his own restaurant….

  9. Mister Forth says:

    These graphics haven’t aged well.

  10. PlasticDiverGuy says:

    Nash is on that menu to make sure you don’t order anything with his name on it.

  11. AK says:

    I went to Vegas a few years ago and visited the Excalibur. I asked one of the Dealers who had been there for over 15 years (so he said) if he remembered the Nitro Grill. He looked at me like I was from Mars or something (Random note: I miss Bad News Brown).

    Anyways, he said he never went there but mentioned that nearly everybody who brought up the restaurant to him said the food sucked. That’s a shame because at least based on the menu, there are quite a few sandwiches and burgers on there that sound appealing and I’m a pretty picky eater.

    I guess those prices were pretty bad for 2000. If those were the prices for today, you could get a Thunder Burger for less price than a Big Mac..in Canada at least.

  12. John C says:

    Other menu items should have been Chicken Fingerpokes of Doom, Spam Spam Bigelow, a bowl of Slapnuts or The Disciple Sandwich which is just a piece of moldy cheese on stale bread.

    • Isaac says:

      “All our burgers are 1/2 pound fresh Ground Chuck Palumbo and are served with our special Scott Hall Beer Battered Onion Rings, lettuce, tomato, a pickle spear, and a pickle jackhammer.”

    • Isaac says:

      “Try the extra lean Total Package Burger! Only 4% beef fat!”

  13. Chris says:

    The only reason I could imagine the online Nitro pre-show was called “Reload” is because the quality of the stream was so garbage that viewers had to constantly “reload” the page.

    • Isaac says:

      They probably considered calling it “preload” which would have made sense. But that would have had other unfortunate implications.

  14. Andy says:

    Jesus, seems somebody ordered too much Monterey Jack cheese and needed to unload it lol.

    Also one wonders what a Nash menu item would be, chicken legs?

  15. Al says:

    I don’t think the Goldberger is at all kosher.

  16. Thomas says:

    With the wrestling and references to X-Entertainment, here’s an old article Matt did about Kamala’s old website:

    http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0947/

  17. Metal Licker says:

    I still laugh when I think of the site, and WCW’s promotion in general. “Watch Nitro tomorrow” being printed on a Thursday for $50,000, for example. The biggest lol I can remember from the website was when Psicosis (or it may have been Juvi) was awarded the Cruiserweight title off-air, and the site didn’t even attempt to make a story out of it. They flat-out admitted that it was because another angle had been dropped, and they used the words ‘angle’ and ‘dropped’ once again completely ruining all suspension of disbelief in the process. This was at a time as well when the IWC was a tiny minority of all mainstream wrestling fans, whereas today it’s probably around a quarter of them plus most of the rest do at least have access to online sources and generally know a bit about the politics and pre-determined nature of wrestling. That wasn’t the case in WCW’s heyday, or even in its dying days, despite Russo’s beliefs to the contrary.

  18. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    YES! MORE MORE MORE MORE! Best induction of the year so far! Ah yes, Real Audio! I remember how great that (BUFFERING…) was to use and listen to WCW (BUFFERING….) Live every week. Bob (BUFFERING…) Ryder desperately shilling for WCW as the company died.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, Kwee Wee not having an induction needs to be fixed ASAP. And the Nitro Girls site having its own induction would be great. Same goes for anything else from this site that you want to induct.

  20. John Q Occupier says:

    Love it! Bring on Kwee Wee! 😉

    (And there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write…)

  21. Wally says:

    It’s a shame the Nitro Grill didn’t serve “Minka’s Wonton’s.”

  22. K-Tank says:

    I liked it! I think you should stick with it for sure. Remember when WWF started giving everyone their own individual website? I think The Rock, the Divas, Austin, DX, & Undertaker all had their own URL. You should see if any of those turn up anything.

  23. Psycho Dave says:

    Papaya was the former Mrs. Bob Holly, Barbara Bush aka Taylor Vaughn in TNA.

    • Jimbolian says:

      I just had to see what she was up to these days, and apparently her debut in WWF as “B.B.” was during a segment where Road Dogg was caught in a bear trap….yes, a bear trap.

      http://www.pwwew.net/tv/smackdown/991028.htm

  24. the14thListener says:

    Yikes, I happened to be on a road trip through Buffalo in September 2000 and we decided to go to that Fall Brawl at the last minute. It was an decent enough show in the ring with a sad number of people in attendance. It was the one where Orndorff had his heart attack or stroke and got taken out on a gurney. Rey Mysterio Jr. wore devil horns.

  25. Barry says:

    This is really funny, comparable to today’s standards, but what you have to remember is, this is 1999 WWE.com was just as bad.

    I remember thinking, come 2000, WWE and WCW.com had both got better, but I did prefer the edgier ECWwrestling.com. It was edgier in that the “trendies” used Yahoo at the time, the “rebels” went with Google.

    It’s all changed now though, 15 years on, when WWE.com is basically a big add for a streaming site. Do they ever mention how much it is a month though? 🙂

  26. ze Frenchie says:

    Horsemen’s sauce? Eeeew.

  27. Enhancement Talent 2 Mark III says:

    Great induction RD. Dead wrestling sites are a goldmine!

    Really liked the tagline on the movie review. “GOLDEN GLOBES: Playmates, pets and wrestlers people Savage Beach.”

    It’s like it was written by a European who doesn’t quite speak English, but gives it his all.

  28. Jim says:

    To be serious for a minute, “Reload” does work if the show reminded you what happened on the previous week’s Nitro and Thunder (the image says WCW Reload), REfreshing your memory on the prior week so that you could then be PREpared for this week’s show. It is a name deserving of ridicule because many people would interpret it as RD did, but I think that’s what it was trying to be.

    WWE wouldn’t make that mistake since it knows the Universe thinks about WWE 24/7 and thus doesn’t need to be reloaded; WWE is always loaded in their minds, whereas anyone who thought about WCW 24/7 in 2000 would have gone insane trying to figure out the storylines.

  29. Ed says:

    Oh how I wish I could get a Buff Bagwell Master Card today…

  30. Cannon says:

    I wouldn’t touch the Crippler Crossface cheesesteak with a ten foot pole.

  31. Vealchop says:

    Ah hell, now I have to update Real Player.

    (Great introduction, Deal. )

  32. Tommy C. says:

    That was a website in the 90’s ran by an actual company.
    I found a fan website still active from the 90’s. It still asks if you you are using Netscape or Internet Explorer.
    http://www.wrestlingmuseum.com/
    Oh the good old days.

    • Thomas says:

      I entered the URL into my iOS browser, and not only is that website still live, it had a live as to a site called www.apartmentwrestlers.com that was last updated just last July.

  33. tom hastings says:

    More, More, More! Extra points for remembering where that line comes from 🙂

  34. James Romero says:

    If anyone decides to reopen an unofficial WCW Nitro Grill (I can’t see WWE or Jerry McDevitt objecting) I’d love to see The Kevin Nash – Pulled Pork Falling Off The Bone Quad-Wich.

    Also, any chance of reviewing Tiger Ali Singh’s old website where he listed himself as former WWF, Intercontinental and Hardcore Champion? It was so full of lies it was like a CV that he thought no one could possibly do a background check on.

    • Brad says:

      The description for the Kevin Nash could be:

      Look at the adjective: Pork

      • Isaac says:

        Legit LOL.
        (It’s not on the menu, but if you asked the waiter for a “Vince Russo” he’d run to the kitchen, close his eyes, grab whatever half-baked crap was lying around, throw it all on a plate, run back to your table screaming SWEEEEERVED!, and then string it up on a pole. And then hit you with a guitar.

  35. Kid From Iowa says:

    Can’t believe I totally forgot about the metricizing of the Cruiserweight belt.

  36. Segoat says:

    Did the Crippler Crossface Cheesesteak come with a choking hazard warning?

  37. Isaac says:

    The Hogan Burger has creative control, so you might not always get the toppings you ask for.

  38. The Great Sudoku says:

    Ugh, Mark Madden. He’s an ASS. I live in Pittsburgh and he does a radio show. I guess people listen, I stopped listening to him around the turn of the millennium, when his delusions of grandeur led him to believe his was a full-fledged member of the nWo, and when he didn’t agree with a caller on the air he’d hang-up on them and play the nWo music. Since then I’ve caught a few soundbytes and newspaper articles, and I am fully convinced this man has no mind of his own, and only says things that will stir up controversy and boost his ratings, regardless of how stupid he makes himself sound in the process. He has the very dubious honor in my mind as being thought of as “The Rush Limbaugh of sports talk radio”. Doesn’t matter that there are facts contrary to your argument, just make some BS up, spew it and see if it spikes the ratings. This GUY has SUCH a chip on his shoulder too about Jim Rome, he won’t let fans use the word “take” to describe their opinion, I guess he was jealous of Rome’s success and wanted to go national too, but all he accomplished on a nationwide scale is being seen as an overweight buffoon on WCW programming. Even today that reputation lives on, etched in the archives of WRESTLECRAP. On a final note, while I don’t ever like to wish harm upon anyone, I did find it a bit gleefully ironic that one of the years The Steelers won the Superbowl, Mark Madden didn’t get to cover it because he had an obesity-related heart attack.

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      If he was as bad on sports radio as he was at being a wrestling commentator, then yeah I’m not surprised he sucks. I remember hearing him on WCW Live and he was just terrible.

  39. Anon says:

    Someone wants 90 dollars for a bottle of that Nitro Cologne on Ebay. Lol.

  40. Down With OPC says:

    What is in the spot now where Nitro Grill used to be?

  41. Mav says:

    What was the Slam Society? Was that reserved for Russo Nitro episodes that eclipsed a 2.5 in the ratings?

    And who on Earth was Baby?

    • Nancy says:

      I also want to know what the Slam Society was. I think there should be a part two to this article.
      And Baby was a Nitro Girl.

  42. Quadruple H says:

    I loved the induction, but unfortunately I shat my pants while reading it. My lawyer shall contact you. Peace!

  43. Jlevysan says:

    Is anyone else disappointed that the Goldberger isn’t kosher?

  44. Rein Engel says:

    Know why Matt is a (much) better writer? Because the stuff he writes isn’t his opinion, but factual information relayed through his eyes and experiences. You can’t go one paragraph without giving your opinion. Seriously, go back and read all of the stuff you’ve written over the years and count how many words… nay, LETTERS until you get to the first “I,” as in I think, I know, I believe, I used to etc.

  45. Zachary W says:

    I actually want to read the Mark Madden induction. Anything that causes that blowhard to become butthurt automatically brings me joy. I mean, seriously. I thought I was done with him when WCW went under, but I had to listen to him flap his gums about “jabronis” and “curtain jerkers” on NFL Network’s Top Ten countdown series. He was downright insufferable whenever they featured something to do with the Steelers, and even worse when they did “Top Ten Pittsburgh Steelers.”

  46. The Rank says:

    Papaya was everyones favourite medical personnel, the Dr Amann of the 90s, B.B. Barbara Bush.

  47. Luca says:

    The WCW Thunder website is still operating: http://cgi.superstation.com/sports/thunder/

  48. Webmaster Dave says:

    You should try to find the old WWF site from way back when. Your ‘unbiased wrestlecrap journalism’ is not complete without comparing WCW.com and its ‘enhanced television,’ free PPV audiocasts and ‘lots of pictures’ without also looking at the old titansports.com and remembering that WWF didn’t embrace the Internet until halfway through the ‘attitude era’.

    Anyone else with me?

  49. Krendall says:

    What, no Russoburger? That, of course, being advertised as a cheeseburger but you end up getting served a chicken sandwich. If the patron attempts to point out the error, every employee (including management) must declare it the ultimate swerve.

    On another note, I’m sad the Goldburger didn’t have bacon on it. I would’ve laughed for hours.

  50. Lycanthrokeith says:

    So WCW was so cash-strapped at the end that they were afraid people would shoplift the Nitro Grill’s menus?

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