Jacksonville, FL – AEW head Tony Khan finally finished writing and sending out holiday cards to the entire roster early this morning. The accomplishment comes days after Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa have already ended.
“I did it!” exclaimed the sleep-deprived Khan. “It took 3 and a half weeks, but I finally did it!”
Initially, Khan handwrote long, heartfelt words on each card. By the time he reached the names starting with C, he realized it was unsustainable. Even resorting to an old typewriter did not speed up the process. By the time he reached Wheeler Yuta and Yuka Sakazaki, Khan was only able to scribble an ‘X’ on the card.
Including both Men’s and Women’s rosters, broadcasters, referees, coaches, interviewers, and independent workers that appeared once on an AEW show, Khan wrote over 500 cards. His tongue dry from licking envelopes and his wrist now sounding like a cement mixer, Khan laid his weary head to rest.
Khan will be receiving x-rays tomorrow to ensure no permanent damage has been done to his hands and wrists. He is hopeful to start working on his Valentine’s Day cards by next week.