Stamford, CT – WWE officials have discovered a way to ensure that the advertised “Greatest Wrestling Match Ever” between Randy Orton and Edge at Backlash will indeed be the world’s greatest wrestling match.
WWE CEO Vince McMahon and his writing team have been scrambling for weeks trying to think of a way to actually make another Orton-Edge match great. After proposing a “10,000 Whoopee Cushions” Match that was ultimately shot down due to logistics, McMahon was completely out of ideas.
“We really painted ourselves into a corner, pal,” said a bemused McMahon.
“It’s okay, Vince. We’ve got it all figured out,” assured Triple H.
“You found the 10,000 whoopee cushions?!” asked McMahon hopefully.
“Uhhh, no, but we have something that will make old fans and new fans happy,” said Triple H. “Kevin, would you mind explaining?”
“Thanks to modern editing techniques, we can use existing footage of the actual world’s greatest wrestling match,” said producer Kevin Dunn proudly. “We will edit Orton and Edge’s heads on to the bodies of Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat from their Wrestlemania III match.
Dunn turned on a television, showing with beloved wrestling match, but with giant Randy Orton and Edge heads superimposed on wrestler’s bodies. The heads bounced around awkwardly, occasionally revealing Savage’s and Steamboat’s faces underneath. Announcing had also been edited to replace the original combatants’ names with Orton’s and Edge’s.
“Seamless!” exclaimed Dunn.
Triple H slumped in his chair, covering his face in embarrassment.
An uncomfortable silence hung over the meeting.
McMahon rose from his chair, walked to Dunn, and placed his hand on Dunn’s shoulder. Dunn shook with fear, believing that his Cal Ripken-like streak of employment was finally over
“Kevin… you’ve done it again! HAHAHAHA!” shouted McMahon. “This is truly fantastic work. It’s just missing something. We need that one tiny element that makes it go from great wrestling match to world’s greatest.”
Triple H sighed.
“I can photoshop in a whoopie cushion right before the finish,” suggested Dunn.
“Greatest. Wrestling. Match. Ever!” declared McMahon triumphantly.