Tampa Bay, FL – The sports world was stunned but not surprised when future NFL Hall Of Famer Tom Brady announced he was returning just days after announcing his retirement. The three-time Super Bowl loser credited is about-face to sixteen-time World Heavyweight champion Ric Flair.
The move isn’t unprecedented as Brady retired and quickly unretired last year.
“It was a difficult season and the early exit in the playoffs weighed on me,” said Brady from the beach of a private island. “I was a bit hasty in throwing in the towel. Ric convinced me I still have plenty left in the tank.”
Flair, who has a knack for multiple retirements, explained the conversation.
“I was hanging out at Sammy Hagar’s Beach Bar and Grill in the Vegas airport when I gave Brady a call,” explained Flair. “I said, ‘Tommy, it’s Naitch! Just because you said it’s over doesn’t mean it’s over.’ And he said ‘Nate? Nate Solder?’ and I said ‘Naw, the Nature Boy, Ric Flair! Wooo!’ Then I styled and profiled, but remembered I was on the phone.
“I told Tom Brady there’s nothing stopping him from playing elsewhere,” said Flair between sips of kamikazes. “Brady retired from the NFL, not from football. He’s still in his prime! Why waste all that talent and potential income when you can toss the ol’ pigskin in the USFL, CFL, or the Arena Football League. Heck, what’s the Lingerie Football League up to these days? Maybe the Nature Boy should take a shot with that one.”
Brady is planning to do an international retirement tour, much like KISS or The Who. With Flair and new manager Conrad Thompson by his side, Brady will travel the world to quarterback in various football leagues. Brady’s first stop will be with the Vegas Vipers of the new XFL.