Seattle, WA – AEW wrestler Darby Allin was run over by a reindeer on Christmas morning.
“From what we can tell, Mr. Allin drank too much eggnog, forgot his medication, and staggered out the door into the snow,” said Seattle Detective Armand Lee in an early morning press conference. “Upon reviewing area street cameras, we have determined that, combined with hoof prints on the victim’s forehead, that he was, indeed, runover by a reindeer.”
“The goose was on the table and the pudding made of fig when I heard a terrible racket,” said Penelope Brunkle who witnessed the incident. “I heard the jingling of sleigh bells when I looked out the window and saw a man jump backwards right in the way of those reindeer.”
Several Ring cameras from local homes captured Allin apparently performing a Coffin Drop for unknown reasons directly in front of the sleigh before it took off into the night sky. Despite the severe trampling, AEW officials expect Darby Allin to appear on next week’s Dynamite.