Sid Vicious vs. a Jobber Who Looks Like Pudgy Richard Simmons

Never thought I’d live to see the day that Sid Vicious would be pummeling the likes of a portly Richard Simmons, but here we are. Need proof? Then let’s just dive right into this.

If that outfit was red instead of purple, I do believe the guy here (Johnny Reeves) would be handed a cease & desist letter. Which honestly, may be a good excuse to get out of Dodge before things get too out of control.

So the bell rings and Sid is so unimpressed with this guy he doesn’t even attack, instead choosing to drop to a knee and start laughing. Not sure I’ve ever seen that in a squash match before, but I’ll say it is a welcome change.

At this point Sid decides to just go for a walk on the outside and read the riot act to folks in the stands. Portly Richard decides the best course of action is to attack Sid from behind…and, well, that goes exactly as you’d expect.

Back into the ring we go and Sid nearly kills the guy by launching him chest first onto the top rope. This just in, Sid is a big, scary strong monster.

Pushing his foe into the corner, Sid starts pummeling with him shots about the head and chest. He then whips him across the ring, setting him up for what I presumed was a Stinger Splash. But not so quick! Instead just walks towards the guy and kicks him square in the chest. Had anyone else on planet earth done that it would have looked laughable, yet somehow him lurching about the ring like (the) Frankentstein (monster) looks perfectly normal.

Into the corner one more time, and here’s comes the big splas…err, shoulder block. This is followed by another kick of some sort, no idea what it actually was. I almost wrote that me not being able to tell was the camera man’s fault, but saying it was a credit to the guy shooting this is probably more likely.

We wrap things up with Sid sending our Jazzercize Jobber to his doom with a big ol’ powerbomb. He then screams at the camera like a total lunatic, probably telling the guy he has half the brain you think he does.


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