Hopefully The Rock’s Match Is Longer At This Year’s WrestleMania!

I know, I know, everyone is clamoring for a Rock match against Roman already for next year’s WrestleMania. But honestly, I don’t know why. After all, we already had that match eight years ago and it was nothing more than a SQUASH for the Great One. Twas WrestleMania 32 when this transpired. Y’all remember that one right?

Why it had everything! It had the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders out there kicking and shaking their pom poms…

…and Rock with a flamethrower, one that kinda sorta set a sign on fire if you used your imagination and waited long enough.

Rock didn’t have a match or anything on the show, he was apparently just there to hang out and tell everyone in the latest fictional number of folks in the stands that day. That my friends is something I will never understand – why can’t you just be honest and give the real number? I know it’s part of the ‘entertainment’ portion of the show, but seriously, is anyone going to think they are wasting their time if you said it was 90,000 or whatever? If so, y’all needs to get a life.

But then all the fun and smiling was interrupted by the Wyatt Family. For the record, I am very sorry that Bray left us so early, I truly am. But I cannot possibly post this image and state, one last time, how much I HATED that LED lantern. Like everything else was old and vintage, but no way we can have an actual kerosene lamp. That type of open flame would simply be too dangerous.

Or maybe not.

So Bray and clan get in to confront the Rock, who proceeds to tell everyone that Bray isn’t really the eater of worlds, he’s the eater of Hot Pockets. He then rips off his pants and wants a match! Now you’d think that would mean Rock vs. Bray, but instead Bray tells Erick Rowan to get in there and give this mouthy malcontent the what for!

Which goes exactly as well you’d expect, with Rock pinning the guy in six seconds. I mean, this is SQUASH of the Week. What were you expecting? And my bad – this was Rock vs. ROWAN, not Rock vs. ROMAN. You can hopefully forgive my mistake. Post match, Rock is about to be attacked by the entire family but is thankfully saved by none other than…

…John Cena! And yeah, the rest of this goes exactly as you’d expect. Can you say…


I knew you could! Enjoy WrestleMania, everyone!

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