Hacksaw Jim Duggan SQUASHES Playboy Buddy Rose! USA! USA! USA!

hacksaw jim duggan

Was pondering what to do for our week of July 4 SQUASH of the Week and realized good ol’ Hacksaw Jim Duggan has never made an appearance, tough guy! Time to rectify that post haste!

As is normally always the case, Duggan makes his way to the ring, brandishing his trusty 2×4 and yelling HO! Fans of course love this guy and bring out all kinds of signs, usually horribly made and featuring something that vaguely resembles and American flag. USA! USA! USA!

His opponent today would be none other than “Playboy” Buddy Rose, he of the legendary Blow Away Diet. Will this be a see saw matchup, back and forth contest? Well, Vince McMahon is on commentary so that’s always a possibility!

The match gets underway with Duggan badly missing a kick then rolling all over the ropes before finally stopping for a rope break that just so happens to give Rose an opening to stick his thumb right in Hacksaw’s eye. I can only believe that Rose had studied hours upon hours of footage to realize that was a weak point on his foe.

Rose is able to parlay this into a bit of offense, jamming Duggan’s noggin into the turnbuckle and throwing punches and chops aplenty. Amazingly, this barely slows Hacksaw down, coming back with a clothesline that Buddy takes a fantastic bump for. Duggan then sends Rose out of the ring with a belly to belly. Not a belly to belly suplex mind you, he just bangs his own tummy into Rose’s to send him flying. Gotta say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that as an offensive weapon before!

We then get an inset promo of Nikolai Volkoff talking about how great a friend Duggan is to him. Egads BABYFACE NIKOLAI VOLKOFF, what a HORRIBLE gimmick that was…and I’m pretty sure I’ve never inducted it. Another log on the old WrestleCrap to do list to cover in the future. I’m pretty sure it was somehow even worse than penniless Nikolai (covered here)!

Duggan gets Rose back in the ring and Buddy is able to take over with a boot to the mush and a clothesline. This gives the Playboy the confidence to scale the top rope and well…it doesn’t go well. To quote Vince McMahon, “We’re gonna see that cellulite fly!” Mock him all you want, Vince, that is a pretty spectacular bump for a guy that big…especially on those horribly stiff rings you always used (until you yourself had to take bumps in them)!

At this point it’s all over but the shouting, as Duggan hits the clothesline and pins the erstwhile Playboy for a count of three. Waving of arms comes next as the crowd chants USA to their hearts’ content. Shoot off all the fireworks you want, I think I’ll just stay home in my easy chair watching more Hacksaw SQUASHes!

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