Yes kids, it’s time for another installment of “this match couldn’t have possibly happened anywhere but some random WCW TV show” at SQUASH of the Week! Today we get Hacksaw Jim Duggan taking on none other than, with the good Lord above as my witness and I am not making this up, LA PARKA.
Seriously, this happened. Look at our hero, strumming his steel chair as if he’s the second coming of Nuno Bettencourt! Who doesn’t love this guy?
And how can you do anything but laugh as he grabs the stars and stripes and parades around the ring with it? The entire sequence is glorious, as Duggan holds his own by literally SCRATCHING HIS HEAD at what he’s seeing. It gets even better when La Parka raises Duggan’s hand high in the air and hits him with a clothesline. One that Duggan completely no sells, by the way. Probably because he is so baffled at what is taking place before his very eyes.
Hacksaw goes on the offensive, hitting La Parka with clotheslines. And one daggum horrible biel throw! If I was La Parka I’d roll out of the ring too.
Back in the chairman goes, only to get clobbered with a barrage of strikes, including a big ol’ soup bone from Glens Falls’ favorite son. Say what you will about Duggan, but he sure knew how to throw an awesome punch.
La Parka catches Duggan with his head down however, and lands a kick to the gut. This allows him an opening to do what he does best – DANCE! I feel like I’m spamming the taunt button on an old N64 game watching that, and I know I’m not the only one.
Duggan comes back with more punches, and La Parka retaliates with more dancing. “See saw match up, back and forth,” as Vince might say!
So La Parka goes up to the top rope despite the fact that Duggan is a good 98% of the way across the ring. Seriously, Hacksaw was nearly laying under the opposite turnbuckle but La Parka tried a flying headbutt anyway. I could watch this match for hours and never stop laughing.
Sadly it’s not meant to be however as Duggan whips his foe in and picks him up for a body slam (which causes La Parka to fling his arms way out to his side like he’s pretending to be an airplane!). An Old Glory kneedrop gets Duggan the win. I say this all the time but I may have never meant it more – I MISS WCW!