Bad News Brown Squashes a Jobber So Doughy It Makes Vince McMahon Sick!

I’ve always liked my jobbers the same way I like my cinnammon rolls – doughy and not quite done. Such is the case with Bad News Brown’s victim d’jour, one Steve Reese. I’d never seen or heard of this guy ever in my life, but he may now be my favorite jobber of all time!

Seriously, look at this guy. Not only does he have a perfectly 80’s mustache, his mullet is complimented by hair that is feathered and parted right down the middle. An eternal optimist, he gives a big thumbs up to someone at ringside. I’m betting it’s the cotton candy vendor!

Unfortunately his day is about to be ruined, as the no goodnik from Harlem, Bad News Brown, jumps him from behind and begins pummeling him something fierce. Meanwhile, commentators Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura argue over if Brown’s foe is Steve Reese or Steve Reeves. Jess correctly notes it’s not Steve Reeves, as that was the guy from the old Hercules films. “He was one of the greatest bodybuilders of all time!” Vince beams as only he can.

Jess attempts to put over Bad News, but Vince is fixated on the “geeky looking guy” in the ring. Call him a geek if you want, but his over the top selling is the absolute best. He’s an honest to goodness cartoon character come to life.

Jesse then tells us if Vince ever got in the ring, he’d look like Reese. Vince is appalled at such a notion, asking Jesse if he really thinks he has a body like that. Jess clarifies that Vince would have a similar look of horror on his face. Vince is ok with that, but you could tell he wanted to rip off his suit right there and challenge Ventura to a pose down.

And Vince just can’t let it go, telling us REEVES looks like a “giant parakeet with half of his body plucked.” That is a VERY strange and very exact analogy.

“Look at your hero, begging like a dog!” Bad News bellows. “It’s Ghetto Blaster time, fool!” No wait, that was when he battled Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event. My bad.

After getting the three count, Bad News tosses WrestleCrap’s favorite jobber out of the ring and straight onto his head in an incredible display of being a doofus. I only hope we can find more footage of this young man, if for no other reason than to hear Vince lose his ever loving mind at the sight of him!

Discuss This Crap!