The Green Shadow

Well, another St. Patrick’s Day has come and gone. I hope everyone out there enjoyed their yearly fix of green beer, parades, green beer, corned beef and cabbage, as well as even more green beer. But all the Irish fun’s not over yet. Before you take off all your green, there’s one more bit of business to attend to. Yes, I could only be talking about the St. Patrick’s Day hangover edition of the Jobber Of The Week.

Our inductee this go around is the unlucky Green Shadow, a lime-colored loser who came into our sights via WCW in May of 1990. Like most guys who graduated from Parts Unknown High School in the late 80’s-early 90’s, he certainly didn’t appear to have much of a fashion sense. But then again, when you’re named the Green Shadow its not like you have a lot of choices for vibrant color changes in your wardrobe. I think commentator Teddy Long described him best by saying, “he looks like some guy who’s been hanging around the Salvation Army”. That may be true, but in his first appearance he looked like he had been hanging around the Green Bay Packer’s training camp.

Decked out in all green, with the exception of a yellow mask and yellow boots, perhaps Mr. Shadow was trying to channel the hall-of-fame winning spirit of Packer
greats Vince Lombardi or Bart Starr. To his credit hewas, believe it or not, able to put himself up on a par and match the success that the legendary duo of Lombardi and Bart had. Unfortunately for the Shadow, the duo I’m talking about is that of Steve
Lombardi and Black Bart.

Upon entering the ring, the Green Shadow broght quite a St. Patrick’s Day flare with him. He was a very small, short man who possessed quick movements. While his impish leprechaun-like style may have fooled you into believing he was a potential prospect, he had one problem. He started every match like it was March 17. St. Paddys Day, whoo-hoo party time!!

Unfortunately for our emerald embicile, he ended every match like it was March 18th, the morning after. Not unlike a man hungover from doing the pubcrawl a few hours earlier, once ol’ Greenie landed on his back, he was worthless and done for.

The poor sap must have felt like he was in Bizarro World. Traditionally, most people wear green to avoid being pinched. The Shadow decks himself out in all green and what happens? People proceed to knock the crap out of him. In his short time in WCW, the Shadow went toe-to-toe with some big names, albeit in losing efforts. He even tried his hand at tag-teams, with an unsuccessful title shot vs. the Steiners. Forget about finding a four-leaf clover to bring him a little luck and win the tag belts, he would have needed the help of an entire highly intoxicated Irish mob to stop Rick and Scott that day. One last stand with Dutch Mantell against the Rock and Roll Express would unfold with similar results.

By the early summer of 90, the sun would set and sadly, the Green Shadow we all knew and loved would fade away forever. You know, everyone’s favorite pork stuffin’ Muppet Kermit the Frog once said, “its not easy being green”.

Somewhere out there in Parts Unknown, this week’s Jobber Of The Week is nodding his head in total agreement.

Discuss This Crap!