Jillian Hall – A Jingle With Jillian

A Jingle With Jillian

I didn’t think it was possible.

Really, I didn’t.

When I received the Wrestling Society X Complete First (and Last) Season DVD, I thought there was no possible way, no conceivable way, that anything else could possibly top it as my favorite Christmas present of the year. Seriously, what could beat four discs of grappling action featuring the unbridled greatness of not only an exploding steel cage timebomb death match, but also a piranha deathmatch?


But it has happened. WSX has officially fallen to the number two greatest joy of this holiday season. In fact, I dare say that everything that I’ve ever received, and likely will ever receive, will fall short of the present I received this week, from WWE of all people.

From WWE and Jillian Hall, that is.

Kids, the rumors are true. That Christmas album Jillian mentioned on the Raw 15th Anniversary Special? It’s real. It exists.

And while some would have the gall to say that Jillian sounds like a lethal hybrid of Nanny Fran Drescher crossed with Carol Channing (well, that’s what Mrs. Deal says, at least), all I can say is that as the now proud owner of this musical masterpiece, A Jingle with Jillian is, without hyperbole, the greatest Christmas album in the history of…well…history.

What? You say this is blasphemy? Well strap on some headphones, Biff. I’m about to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything I am saying is 100% irrefutable fact. And I will do it by reviewing the well-known and established “classic” versions of these timeless carols against Jillian’s new – and unquestionably improved – rendition.

Put on your Santa hat and let’s get to jinglin’!


Classic Judy Garland Version

New Jillian Hall Version

But while Garland belts out the tune with admitted aplumb, she’s got nowhere near the range of sweet Jillian. Indeed, she uses this opening track to showcase her incredible vocal range. In fact, she hits notes that I believe only a dog could hear. She’s THAT good.

Here’s the new, vastly improved version.

Make no mistake about it – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Judy Garland is a yuletide standard. I cannot fathom a December passing by and NOT hearing this song…or watching the movie in which it made its debut, Meet Me in St. Louis.

Here’s a clip of the classic.

Sorry, Dorothy…Jillian’s holding of that final note sealed your fate.


Classics: 0 – Jillian: 1


Classic Bobby Helms Version

New Jillian Hall Version

Yes, the Helms version is a classic, no question. And if you need proof of that fact, consider this: it’s sold 100,000 copies (no joke!). So how could Jillian possibly top it? By updating it for the new millenium! Not only does she rock the polka dot, her back up band has added a very flatulant tuba to the mix!

Cue the Fart-Trolla!

Odds are you’ve never heard of Bobby Helms. I hadn’t. Heck, I had to look up just who sang the standard rendition of Jingle Bell Rock that we all know and love. But while he may not be a household name, everybody knows his greatest hit, which has been a yuletide staple since its release in 1957.

Here’s a clip!

Not even a contest.

Still, I must admit it seems somehow wrong to call anyone with that much fringe a loser.


Classics: 0 – Jillian: 2


Classic Bing Crosby Version

New Jillian Hall Version

In hindsight, it really doesn’t matter whose version we consider the classic, as once again, they all pale in comparison to the Jillian version. After all, did Elvis, Perry, or Bing say, “I need presents…please have presents” in their versions?

Would somebody get this poor girl some presents for crying out loud?!

So many people have recorded this one over the years it was hard to decide just who to have “represent” (as the fly kids say nowdays). Everyone from Perry Como to Frank Sinatra to Elvis Presley has done this holiday staple. I finally decided to give the nod to Bing Crosby, who released his version in 1943.

Here’s der Bingle.

All I can say is that those Crosby kids better be happy Jillian didn’t do White Christmas – they’d be in the soup line.


Classics: 0 – Jillian: 3


Classic Brenda Lee Version

New Jillian Hall Version

As much as I love Brenda’s version, you have to admit she plays it pretty close the chest vocally. Not so with Jillian, who belts it out then coos like a dove.

Besides, even if Jillian were to play it close to the chest, that would mean it’s still a good three feet away from the rest of her.

Rock that tree right into the ground!

While every song we’re looking at today is a classic, I don’t know there are many I love more than this one by Brenda Lee. It always brings to mind Christmases past at my Uncle Bob’s, hanging out with the cousins and counting down the hours until Christmas morning so we could revel in being the spoiled brats we truly were.

Let those memories flood back!

Brenda, you’ll always hold a special place in my heart…but sadly, you can’t compare with improv like “Way, way, yay yay yay yay yay!”


Classics: 0 – Jillian: 4


Classic Nat King Cole Version

New Jillian Hall Version

In many ways, Nat’s version is the perennial Christmas carol, so it seems fitting that Jillian’s EP ends with it.

It is also fitting that she kicks Nat right square in his chestnuts with a far superior version. How do you improve upon perfection, you ask? By adding a choir, that’s how!

Ok, maybe it’s not a choir, but that is one angelic voice – I bet it’s Jillian herself thanks to some fancy mixing!

You want to know how classic Nat King Cole’s Christmas Song is? Consider this: every year, I want chestnuts. I have had them once, and they were quite possibly the most disgusting, vile thing I have ever put in my mouth. Doesn’t matter – when Nat sings about them roasting on an open fire, I still want ’em, no matter how many bottles of Listerine I need to wash the taste out of my mouth.

Roast those chestnuts!

If only Nat had that blissful tone accompanying him when he sang “choir”…it might have been a contest.

Coulda shoulda woulda…didn’ta.


Classics: 0 – Jillian: 5

What a shock – it’s a clean sweep!

And so I offer you this simple phrase, for kids from 1 to 92…although it’s never been said, any time, any way…get this album, you fool!

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