The November 9th, 1998 episode of WCW Nitro began in a most unexpected way. Instead of its unusual intro video or a recap of the previous week’s events, this night’s episode opened with scenes of pure Americana: Mt. Rushmore, the Capitol building, the Statue of Liberty…
Untold numbers of viewers checked their calendars or flipped to CNN to see if they’d missed something important.
But no, it wasn’t a holiday. No, there wasn’t a war on (yet). No, there weren’t a lot of monuments on Long Island, site of that night’s Nitro. Nonetheless, it was something far more important—and American—than any of that: Hulk Hogan was running for president. Tonight, he’d not only formally launch his campaign, but announce his running mate.
Nowadays, seemingly anyone can run for office and be taken seriously. But back in 1998, the idea that a former pro wrestler (even one with mayoral experience) could become governor was a national punchline…
…and then he won. Suddenly, everyone (Hulk Hogan, at least) was on the Jesse The Body bandwagon.
Within a week, Hogan had announced his candidacy not for a measly little office like governor, but for president of the whole country. But was this legitimate, or just another wrestling angle?
Oh it was real! How else could you get the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES to show up on WCW Nitro? Yes, the announcers repeatedly claimed, the President (not of the network, not of WCW, but of the country) would also be arriving at the arena for the occasion.
Bobby Heenan was on assignment in the parking garage to await the President with a slightly skeptical but optimistic Gene Okerlund. Huge if true was the message.
Once, they thought he’d arrived, but it turned out to be two rival nWo factions’ limos pulling up simultaneously.
Eric Bischoff then showed up at the commentary desk and gave his word that the President of the United States would be at the arena. With all this hype, there was no way this could be a swerve—unless it was the laziest swerve possible, and the “president” in question was Hulk himself.
At last, a motorcade arrived, complete with pushy Secret Service agents threatening Gene and Bobby if they didn’t clear the premises.
So after the commercial break, out came the “President”…
…and to the surprise of no one, it was just Hulk Hogan (who, you’ll recall, was supposed be there anyway). Truly, this was a swerve so lame it barely qualified as bait-and-switch.
Hogan, dressed like Shy Guy, strutted to the ring as the world’s cheapest rendition of “Hail to the Chief” played throughout the arena on a messed-up loop.
Rather than kicking ass and taking names, Hogan kissed ass and dropped names, praising Jesse “The Mind” Ventura effusively. Hogan, you’ll recall, had narced on Jesse for trying to form a wrestlers’ union, while Ventura had ragged on Hulk for years on commentary. Now, it seemed, they were good pals.
Ever since last Tuesday, when his best bud Jesse won his election, Hogan’s phones had been ringing off the hook with people begging the Hulkster to run for president.
And while he still hadn’t picked a running mate (despite the announcement at the top of the show), he had a lot of folks in mind: Lee Iacocca, Oprah, his “brother Bubba” the radio host…
Before people voted for a Hogan-Winfrey or Hogan-Sponge ticket, though, they might want to know what they stood for.
“What party?” asked Gene, which Hogan totally ignored.
By this point, viewers had figured out this candidacy was not exactly on the level. Of course, most wrestling fans already knew this….preferring to watch Steve Blackman take on Val Venis on WWF Raw.
There was never any follow-up on WCW television, but Hogan did a full media blitz to hype his candidacy. Namely, a single Tonight Show appearance two weeks later.
On Thanksgiving night 1998, those Americans not already fast asleep from their turkey and heavy gravy could hear an important announcement from Candidate Hogan.
Slotted after the monologue and some junior champion turkey-callers, Hogan sat down with former opponent Jay Leno to talk the presidency.
But first, there was important business like why he changed his name to Hollywood (allowing Leno to poke fun at his movie career)…
…or what his real name actually was. Terry Bollea, he said. Not Terence. Not Terence.
After all, voters would have to recognize his name on the ballot if they wanted to pick him in 2000, which was why Hulk was on the show in the first place.
It was with a heavy heart that Hogan announced his retirement from wrestling to focus on his campaign.
And Leno, taking Hogan’s candidacy exactly as seriously as he should have, clearly didn’t believe him for a second.
“So you’re not gonna back in like, six weeks and say you’re back?“
Why should the American people vote for you?, asked Jay. For Hulk Hogan, it came down to his great business decisions.
Leno, never known for his hard-hitting style, was lobbing softballs at Hogan. And the Hulkster, despite his alleged .714 Little League batting average, still whiffed on every one of them.
Speaking of which, his other stated qualification was his honesty.
As for how his candidacy came about, it was all down to popular demand, brother.
If Jesse Ventura, a “teeny little minnow in a big pond” could be governor, asked the countless people calling him since Election Day, why couldn’t Hulk run?
At first, he was just joking about running for President on Nitro, but it created so much buzz, he started taking it seriously.
Why, in the two weeks since announcing his candidacy, Hogan had struck Bubba the Love Sponge from his shortlist of VP candidates and added Ross Perot and Willie Nelson.
He even showed up to this campaign stop with the proper number of feather boas for a presidential candidate (Zero).
Having worked himself into a shoot, Hogan was committing full-time on his political career.
“Would you say you’re more a Democrat or Republican?”, asked Jay.
“I think I’m right in the middle”, said Hulk Hogan, which Jay wasn’t buying. “Lame, weenie answer” were his exact words.
He was looking into a third-party run (or a fourth or fifth party, suggested Leno, further dumping on Hogan’s chances).
Hogan emphasized that, unlike the scandal-ridden politicians of the day, he had no dark secrets.
Leno then asked him about Saddam, and Hulk’s mind immediately turned to Sodom, casting doubt on his previous boast.
But, Hogan said, when it came to Saddam Hussein, we should have “taken the brother out” during the Gulf War. And a President Hulk Hogan would have done it, even if he couldn’t remember the guy’s name.
It was up to Jay to get the would-be president to open up about, you know, his policies. Besides, I want power, vote for me.
What about taxes?
“Flat tax, brother.”
How much?
“Sixteen percent”, said Hogan after stroking his chin and thinking about how much he usually tipped.
Hogan then suggested Jay be his running mate, since he never got to team with him in the ring and never would (because he was retired forever).
Jay, naturally, declined. Maybe if Hulk promised it to Dave or Conan….
Hogan took one more swipe at that loser Jesse Ventura and bade farewell to the studio audience, no doubt to meet with his team of advisers.
Not a word was ever spoken again about Hogan for President 2000. But while Jay Leno was right to doubt Hulk Hogan’s presidential aspirations, he was wrong about Hulk Hogan coming back in six weeks.
It was five and a half.