WWE Reveals How They Named RETRIBUTION Members

Stamford, CT – At their weekly meeting, WWE Creative revealed the source behind the new name for members of Retribution.

On last week’s Monday night Raw, the upstart faction Retribution revealed their themselves,” said Bruce Prichard. “No, wait. That doesn’t sound right. Last week, Retribution unveiled their members. Dang it. I mean they told us their names. There, that works.”

“It was the talk of the internet,” said Triple H. “The world just couldn’t get enough T-BAR, Slapjack, Mace, Retaliation, and Reckoning.”

Triple H addressed the writers in the room, asking “T-BAR? Really?”

“We love it!” said the writers in unison.

“WWE has acquired a very high-tech piece of technology that helps us create new and exciting names for the WWE Superstars of tomorrow!” boasted WWE CEO Vince McMahon. “They tell me it’s called a ‘fortune teller’. It can predict who you’re going to marry, how old you’ll be when you die, or how many kids you’ll have. Our tech boys have harnessed this incredible power to create better sports entertainment. Kevin, show them how it works!”

The paper fortune teller, popular in elementary and middle schools, sat beneath protective glass. WWE Executive Producer Kevin Dunn gently removed the glass and placed the paper fortune teller on his fingers. Carefully handling the delicate instrument, Dunn took a deep breath and steadied himself.

“Pick a number!” said Dunn.

“Five!” shouted McMahon.

Dunn then opened and closed the paper fortune teller five times.

“Pick a color!”

“Red!” barked McMahon.

Dunn lifted a flap on the fortune teller labeled ‘Red’.

“Okay, the newest Retribution member’s name is…Dump Truck!” exclaimed Dunn

“We love it!” said the WWE writers in unison.

The intense writing session continued for several hours. The group’s hard work and fortune teller yielded several new Superstar names. On tonight’s Raw, Retribution will debut their newest members Dump Truck, Z-Pack, Spaghetti Squash, Bulk, and Skull.

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