WWE Hires Mr. Nohamcm As New Head Of Creative

WWE owner Vince McMahon with a mustache

Stamford, CT – WWE officials announced that the new head of Creative will be a mysterious newcomer named Mr. Nohamcm. The surprise decision was revealed in an impromptu “all-hands” meeting that included all in-ring talent, backstage personal, and office staff.

“After careful consideration, WWE is proud to announce that Creative will now be run by Mr. Nohamcm,” said Triple H dejectedly. “I will stay on in an advisory role, but Mr. Nohamcm will be making all final decisions. This is including any changes to Wrestlemania.”

The crowd murmured in disapproval.

Sporting a thick, luxurious mustache and pastel blazer, Mr. Nohamcm addressed the talent.

“Hello, my name is Mr. Nohamcm and I come from, uh, someplace far away,” said the gruff-voiced 77 year old. “Yes, that will do. Anyway, I think we need to invest more into wild storylines, hotshot booking, embarrassing former NXT talent, and bringing in stars from the past.”

“I like the way Mr. Nohamcm thinks!” said Executive Vice President Kevin Dunn.

Wrestlers, led by Kevin Owens, Karrion Kross, and Zelina Vega advanced on Mr. Nohamcm. Dunn removed a grappling hook launcher from his jacket pocket and fired it into the air. Mr. Nohamcm gripped Dunn tightly as they attempted to escape.

“AHHHH my quads!” screamed Mr. Nohamcm, crumpling to the floor. He disappeared under the crowd of angry Superstars. When the dust settled, only his mustache remained.

Although he has not been seen since the meeting, WWE plans to follow through with Mr. Nohamcm’s plans of turning Night One of Wrestlemania into a 4-hour bra-and-panties battle royal.

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