Nashville, TN – TNA Wrestling have announced that their new head of creative will be none other than a Magic 8-Ball.
The shocking, but unsurprising maneuver comes just days about creative leader and former ECW champion Tommy Dreamer parted ways with the company. While many suspected for TNA and WWE star Road Dogg would replace Dreamer, recent budget cuts for the struggling company lead them in another direction.
TNA President Carlos Silva made the decision following a trip to Dollar Tree.
“I was picking up dinner at my favorite spot and saw the answer to all our problems in the next aisle,” said Silva holding up plastic sphere. “No more second-guessing. No more confusing storylines. No more asking for meal stipends! Magic 8 Ball is crossing the line to TNA!”
“Who should The Hardys feud with after Slammiversary?” asked Silva, shaking the novelty item.
“Outlook not so good,” responded the toy.
“Will AJ Styles come back for an on-air role as Commissioner?” asked Silva, shaking harder this time.
“Outlook not so good,” it said again.
“Will I still be TNA president this time next year?” inquired a panicked Silva.
“LOL,” replied the cheap trinket.
“Aww, forget this. I’m just giving Dixie Carter a call,” said Silva before wishing the Magic 8 Ball the best of luck in its future endeavors.