Hollywood, CA – The road to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson inserting himself into the main event at Wrestlemania has officially begun.
Arriving 15 minutes late into a WWE Creative meeting via Zoom, the People’s Champion laid out his plan to involve himself in Wrestlemania 42.
“The lights dim,” said The Rock, turning a bottle of his Teremana Tequila towards the camera on his laptop. “Fog slowly rolls in. An angelic choir begins to sing. I descend from the heavens on a golden chariot. I look at the crowd for 10 minutes. I slap my arm to show I have goosebumps. Undercard wrestlers lift me on their shoulders and carry me to the ring. Catchphrase. Catchphrase. End scene.”
The writing team stared as The Rock continued.
“At Elimination Chamber, I climb to the top of the cage,” said The Rock, raising his eyebrow. “And then I drop The People’s Elbow to the entire structure, sending it crashing down on all my jabroni opponents. I emerge victorious and extremely handsome and likable.”
WWE Creative remained silent.
“At Wrestlemania, I begin my entrance on Night 1, but don’t arrive until Night 2,” explained Johnson proudly. “Pyro goes off for 20 minutes. A commercial plays for Moana. Then a commercial for Jumanji 3. After that, a trailer for Fast And The Furious 11. Then I beat Cody or whoever is champion. Bing. Bang. Roody Poo. Boom. See you in a few weeks.”
The Rock flashed his bright smile and signed off.
“Rocky, you’re on mute,” said Triple H, responding too late.