Indianapolis, IN – Midwestern fast food restaurant Steak And Shake have announced that they are switching from cooking with beef tallow to cooking with grease from WWE Superstar Lyra Valkyria’s face.
Following her betrayal of her friend Bayley, Valkyria has been sporting a more unkempt look over the past few months. Sporting a noticeably shinier face, oily hair, and a faint scent of cooking oil, Valkyria has been creeping out her fellow competitors in and out of the ring.
The unique collaboration is just another step in WWE’s relentless pursuit for additional revenue.
“It turns out people don’t actually care what their foods are cooked it,” admitted Steak and Shake CEO Sardar Biglari. “No one wants a healthier triple steakburger, chili cheese tots, and a chocolate shake. So, we went with a cheaper, renewable resource of all-natural Valkyria oils to cook our foods.”
With WWE’s shortened work schedule, Lyra Valkyria will travel to area Steak and Shakes to rub her face and underarms with hamburger patties, French fries, and bacon.