Resurrected TNA Attacked By Angry Villagers

TNA Wrestling returns

Orlando, FL – Local townspeople stormed the former Impact Zone in Universal Studios following the announcement that Total Nonstop Action was returning.

In an unexpected twist just in time for Halloween, Impact Wrestling officials announced this week that they would be bringing TNA back from the dead. Over the years, many believed Impact Wrestling to be a zombie-like version of TNA, slowly limping along until it finally ceased. Other felt that TNA was just a myth, whispered about only in the darkest corners of wrestling fandom, never to return again.

The revival was announced at a press conference earlier today. Impact officials gathered in a laboratory complete with a large figure beneath a sheet.

“It’s alive! Alive!” screamed Impact Wrestling president Scott D’Amore to reporters with a mad look in his eyes.

D’Amore pulled back the sheet to reveal a monstrous cobbled-together wrestling company. Reporters shrieked and ran for the door in fear of the promotion walking towards them. Word quickly spread among the community of the abomination and a posse formed to drive it away.

Brandishing pitchforks and blasting Youtube clips of Bryan and Vinny’s reviews TNA episodes from Bluetooth speakers, the group chased after the misunderstood monster.

“Ratings bad!” growled the TNA monster, fleeing from the mob into the wilderness of Florida.

During the escape, the monster met a kindly older man who welcomed him into his home and called him “Bro”. It also met a young woman who took it in and referred to it as “Sugah!” It learned of humanity’s kindness and soon grew to understand what it meant to be a wrestling company.

Total Nonstop Action is still at large, wandering the land in search of Late Rites matches and Aces and Eights vests.

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