Headlies: Vince McMahon Revealed As The Exalted One

8 Submitted by on Mon, 23 March 2020, 08:00

Jacksonville, FL – In a stunning swerve, WWE CEO Vince McMahon was revealed to be The Dark Order’s leader, The Exalted One.

Although newcomer Brodie Lee was shown to be The Exalted One on this past week’s Dynamite, viewers of AEW’s new Youtube show “Dark After Midnight” saw the true leader was none other than the head of WWE.

The Dark Order filled the ring, displaying their new “Punch Someone In The Head But Miss Wildly” handshake. A hooded figure emerged from the back, half-slowly walking, half-strutting. Gregorian Chants echoed throughout the empty arena.

A stare-down ensued between the figure and Lee, only for Lee to kneel in reverence.

The figure pulled off his hood, revealing himself to be the 72-year-old McMahon.

“It’s me, Aust- I mean, Tony Khan! It’s me all along!” barked McMahon.

“Aw, son of a bitch,” said a bored Jim Ross.

“You all bought it! You all bought it hook, line, and sinker!” yelled McMahon triumphantly at some empty chairs. “You all thought I didn’t have it anymore. That I wasn’t ‘down’ and ‘with it’. You believed that WWE was stale and All Elite Wrestling was ‘cool’ and ‘fun’. Actually, that’s what I wanted you all to think. Meanwhile, I’ve been sending WWE Superstars over here to take them down from the inside. Come on out, boys!”

Joining McMahon in the ring was former WWE stars Chris Jericho, Jon Moxley, Matt Hardy, and Cody Rhodes. All four ripped their AEW shirts off to reveal WWE shirts underneath. Evil Uno ripped off his mask to reveal that he is really Shane McMahon. The group cackled in the ring having once again fooled the wrestling world.

Asked later what he plans to do with AEW, McMahon said, “I dunno. Some sort of invasion or some crap. Who cares?”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
8 Responses to "Headlies: Vince McMahon Revealed As The Exalted One"
  1. John C says:

    The main event of the Invasion 2020 PPV will be a face mask on a poll match featuring MJF vs Seth Rollins.

  2. Joe Levinsky says:

    Would have been an improvement..

    Once I saw it was Brodie Lee.. I was like “aww.. that is who it was.. boring!”

  3. Derek says:

    Would not be surprised also it should have been luther

  4. CF says:

    Could be worse — could be Roman Reigns….

  5. Thomas Moffatt says:

    A source who wants to remain anonymous said, “Oh shit, you know what this means? We’ll getNipple H screeching down the microphone every week now…”

  6. Guy Incognito says:

    Um, did anyone realize this is almost true?
    Brodie Lee is using his Exalted One character as a knock on Vince as per this week’s Dynamite.

  7. Sid Bridge says:

    Wow, dude – you published this a few days before the AEW show this week where they did a video with Brodie acting like Vince McMahon, so I guess you were right.

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