Headlies: King Nakamura Throws Baron Corbin In The Tower Of London

4 Submitted by on Mon, 28 June 2021, 08:00

London, UK – Newly crowned King Shinsuke Nakamura enacted his first ruling as WWE King by throwing Baron Corbin into the Tower of London.

By royal decree, and in agreement with the British government in exchange for a trio of WWE shows on their soil, Corbin was dragged extradited from the United States. Forced onto a plane and surrounded by guards, the former ‘Constable of Raw’ was placed in the famous prison. The historical castle, once the site of torture and executions, now serves as one of England’s most popular tourist attractions.

King Nakamura’s plans for his rival did not stop there.

“From this day forward, all the toilets in the kingdom shall be known as…corbins!” declared King Nakamura to thunderous applause from the Thunderdome. “Make him part of the tour.”

Officials have made Corbin a part of the festivities. Visitors can now take their picture with Corbin inside an iron maiden or stock. For an additional £2, people can kick Corbin in the rear end and loudly complain about all the Superstars who have been released instead of him.

The deposed Corbin is still adjusting to his new living arrangements.

“This stinks,” said a glum Corbin. “It’s damp, it’s cold, and they keep feeding me something called Toad In A Hole. Every night, Rick Bugez stands outside my cell and plays ‘Polly Wolly Doodle’ out of tune.

WWE officials have not said when they hope for Corbin’s release, stating “What’s a Baron Corbin?”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
4 Responses to "Headlies: King Nakamura Throws Baron Corbin In The Tower Of London"
  1. Thomas Moffatt says:

    The end of King Baron the Boring has been one of the few WWE highlights for me this year… I’m waiting for his next stupid gimmick – President Corbin? General Corbin the Evil (and Boring Dictator)? Or the worst possible, a face turn for Corbin?

  2. Jerry says:

    As long as he is in there, he won’t be the one used to initiate the next Shorty G or Dogfood Match. Sounds like a good trade.
    Also, reading your mention of it, I am starting to wonder, if a certain old man bases his booking decissions on the crowd reactions of the Thunderdome audio.

  3. Hulk6785 says:

    POT of the tour. Make him pot of the tour. That’s the line; it was a pun since “John” was also a nickname for toilets.

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