Stamford, CT – WWE newcomer Danhausen received one of his contractual demands this morning after the company provided him with his very own blimp.
The early morning gifting included a bit of pomp and circumstance. A local elementary school band played “Flight Of The Valkyries”. Danhausen’s personal dance troupe performed a new routine. Raw GM Adam Pearce walked on stilts.
Parked outside WWE headquarters, the zeppelin bobbed gently in the air. Fans cheered as the face-painted wrestler accepted his “Very nice, very buoyant” airship. Unfortunately, a misinterpreted yawn and stretch accidentally cursed the floating vehicle.
A strong March wind blew the blimp off course, breaking free of its tether. Careening through the gray Connecticut sky, the aircraft flew into a Duchess Restaurant billboard next to I-95. The collision ignited the hydrogen-filled vehicle, igniting in an impressive explosion. Onlookers ran for cover as debris and teeth fell from the sky.
“Oh, the Danhausenmanity!” cried Danhausen as his dream dirigible went up in flames.
It wasn’t all tragedy for the face painted wrestler as he still managed to get a Pointing Triple H picture.