Chris Jericho Faces Colt Cabana In A “Podcasting Microphone On A Pole Match”

Jacksonville, FL – Chris Jericho took on Colt Cabana this weekend to determine which professional wrestling star was the best podcaster.

The Battle Of The Podcasters, set to air on this week’s AEW Dynamite, was a natural progression of their feud from last week. Both Jericho and Cabana host successful wrestling podcasts and a simple grappling match could not contain their slow, simmering rivalry. AEW CEO Tony Khan personally arranged the match.

“The rules of the match are simple: the first podcaster to remove the Blue Yeti microphone from the pole wins,” explained AEW announcer Excalibur.

The match started with simple, mat-base maneuvers, but quickly devolved into name-drops and advertisements.

“I’m going to kick your ass and sleep comfortably on my new Casper Mattress. Use promo code “kickcoltsass” to get 5% off your purchase,” declared Jericho.

“Thanksssss! I’ll hit you harder than these Blue Chew pills will make you!” said Cabana with a stiff retort.

“Ooooh, I’m shaking in MeUndies!” replied Jericho, noting how comfortable the undergarments feel.

The two traded verbal jabs throughout the match, getting closer and closer to reaching the microphone.

Jericho put the pressure on Cabana with several amusing anecdotes about hanging out with members of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest.

Cabana countered by pointing out that Fozzy’s guitarist is also in the third-tier rap metal band, Stuck Mojo.

Exhausted, both men reached for the microphone when suddenly pyro exploded and Ryback came running to the ring. Ryback, best known as the host of the “Conversation With The Big Guy Ryback” podcast, laid waste to both men and grabbed the microphone.

Declaring himself the supreme ruler of the podcast world, Ryback then hit himself in the head several times with the microphone. Afterwards, he celebrated his historic victory by reviewing Wendy’s Triple Baconator.

Discuss This Crap!