Edinburg, TX – All Elite Wrestling has announced that they will now be keeping statistics on how many murders their wrestlers attempt in a night.
“As a sports-based wrestling company, I feel that we really should be counting each effort of homicide and manslaughter,” said AEW leader Tony Khan. “As a fan myself that used to track wins and losses, I think people would want to know how many times Darby Allin tried to roast Jack Perry with a flamethrower.”
“Just like Wins and Losses, attempted killings matter too,” said Khan. “If all goes well, we will also start including onscreen counts of acts of arson, the spread of bloodborne diseases, and OSHA violations.”
Blood and violence have been a large part of AEW since it’s inception six years ago. Fans have witnessed wrestlers try to drown, suffocate, strangle, stab, incinerate, and run over their opponents on pay-per-view, as well as episodes of Dynamite and Collision.
Unsurprisingly, former champion Jon Moxley sits at the top of the leader board. Rounding out the rest of the top offenders members of the Death Riders, Allen, Andrade el Idolo, although those were off-screen.