Induction: The Ortons vs. The Undertaker – Possession is 9/10s of the law, but only 1/10 of what made this feud so stupid

28 Submitted by on Thu, 29 October 2015, 20:06

WWE, 2005

It’s Halloween time, and you’d think that we here at Wrestlecrap would roll out some scary themed inductions to mark the occasion.

Well, have no fear!

…No, have some fear, because it’s Halloween…

React with as much fear as you deem appropriate for this most frightening of all wrestling feuds: The Undertaker vs. the Ortons!

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Wax dummies!

Demonic possessions!

Bloodborne pathogens!

It’s all here, ladies and gentlemen (although some cursory demographic research suggests that not a whole lot of ladies visit this site).

Our story begins at Wrestlemania 21, where Randy Orton tried and failed to end The Undertaker’s Streak. Of course, all smart fans knew there was 0% chance of Randy actually winning (mainly because he had been booked to lose; his odds would have gone up to 100% if he had been booked to win).

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For a long time after, nothing happened between the two men, who were separated by brand.

That all changed in July of that year, and all it took was an inter-brand draft lottery and a terrorist attack.

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With Muhammad Hassan’s character being banned from the network thanks to a mock-terrorism segment aired the same day as the London bombings, suddenly The Undertaker was re-booked to win their #1 contender’s match.

Since an Undertaker title match wasn’t in the cards for Summerslam, Taker immediately lost his title opportunity to JBL thanks to interference from new Smackdown arrival Randy Orton.  ortontaker03
ortontaker04 This set up a match between Randy and The Undertaker at Summerslam, which saw The Dead Man well on his way to victory until a confused, senile old dork wandered into the ring for a very inopportune handshake. 
The distraction allowed Randy to sneak-attack The Phenom and score the victory. He then celebrated with the aforementioned disoriented geezer who was, in fact, none other than his dad Bob Orton, Jr. with a latex facial prosthesis and a bad wig — a wig with its tag still attached. ortontaker05 
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Damn you, wig!!!

If you’ve ever imagined what it looks like when The Lord of Darkness is foiled by a cheap rug, here’s your answer. 
After that embarrassing loss for The Undertaker, Randy figured it was about time The Dead Man retired, offering him this giant check. ortontaker07
ortontaker08 Taker declined the generous offer by casting Lightning. The stage was thus set for a casket match between Undertaker and both Ortons.
Leading up to that first-ever handicap casket match…
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(besides this one)

ortontaker11 …Taker and the Ortons partook in a game of Dueling Mannequins, with each party scaring the other with caskets — caskets occupied by wax dummies so lifelike, you’d swear they were just the real Undertaker…
…and the real Ortons… ortontaker12
ortontaker13  …posing in the casket for a cheesy closeup camera shot and spliced in during post-production.
I can’t imagine what kind of connections any of these guys have with Madam Tussauds to get all these wax figures made on demand, but at least the Ortons found a use for that $1,416.00 the Undertaker rejected. ortontaker09 
ortontaker15  Okay, okay, so the dummies really were simply the Undertaker and the Ortons pretending to be dummies. I just find it depressing that the company’s special effects budget had apparently shrunken since 1996; they couldn’t even afford a Casket Cam in 2005.
The Ortons tried holding a mock funeral for Taker… ortontaker16
ortontaker99 …but it turned out to be the real Undertaker in the casket and not the dummy Undertaker (which in reality never actually existed and was just the real Undertaker to begin with, but let’s play along with kayfabe here).
Even with the psychological advantage, Taker lost to the Ortons at No Mercy, then suffered the horrific experience of being locked in the casket, doused with gasoline, and burned alive! ortontaker17
ortontaker18 And he really hates when that happens.
Good thing these guys with fire extinguishers sprung into action before Randy could even finish taking his post-match shower backstage. ortontaker19
ortontaker20 The next month, however, the Dead Man resurrected in the same place he had died: a flaming coffin (well, casket this time)…
…striking fear into the hearts of Randy Orton and the Smackdown locker room, including the short-tenured tag team of The Dicks. ortontaker21
ortontaker22  Two days later, Randy Orton honored the memory of the recently-deceased Eddie Guerrero by backing The Undertaker into one of those famously explosive WWE sets with Eddie’s own memorial low-rider, then bragging that he had killed him (“Him” meaning the Undertaker, not Eddie Guerrero. Randy never claimed to have killed Eddie, just that he went to hell).
For some reason, Randy thought that a low-speed car crash was enough to kill the Undertaker, who had previously survived being buried alive on three different occasions (four as of this writing) and getting locked in a burning casket twice, most recently a month prior at No Mercy. And, Undertaker or not, if you hit someone with your car and by the time you got out of your car for closer inspection, the victim had disappeared completely instead of leaving behind a lifeless corpse, wouldn’t your first thought be, “He must be alive” and not, “He must be dead”? ortontaker23 
poopy99 Then the mind games started. And not the amateurish JBL-style mind games (such as ramming your car into your opponent’s head). I mean spooky mind games!
First, Randy saw Undertaker in the mirror, only for him to vanish when Orton turned around. Of course, Taker wasn’t literally “in” the mirror like Warrior was in WCW, which is good because nothing’s stupider than a hallucination that everybody watching at home can see. ortontaker24
ortontaker25 Speaking of which… Randy won’t be winning any Slammy Awards for this kind of performance. Nor will the production people.
Nor will even Bob Orton. I can understand the fake blood used for shock value. I can understand this being all in Randy Orton’s head. What I can’t understand is why the Ace Cowboy keeps curling his lip like Elvis Presley. ortontaker26 
ortontaker25 Also, I lied. I can’t understand this being all in Randy Orton’s head, since it’s clearly being picked up on camera. I also can’t understand the nickname “Ace Cowboy,” come to think of it.
Unbeknownst to the Ortons, Undertaker appeared on backstage monitors to spy on his two opponents. Somebody should tell Undy that you can’t actually see through the other side of the screen when you’re on TV. I wonder if Michelle McCool has ever explained to Taker that it’s alright to watch The Tonight Show because Jimmy Fallon can’t see into their bedroom. ortontaker28 
ortontaker29  It wasn’t just Randy, the cameramen, the electronics, or the fabric of reality being messed with; Josh Mathews fell victim to Taker’s powers, getting possessed by The Dead Man to deliver a message to the Legend-Killer. A decade later, Vince McMahon would have insisted that Taker send Randy a Tout instead.
I should note that this possession occurred right after the Ortons’ car drove away by itself. ortontaker30
ortontaker98  Finally, all the mind games prompted Randy to see a shrink, which was sadly not played for comedy – since he was still using his old theme song, the therapist never got to ask Orton about the voices he heard in his head.
At Armageddon, Undertaker beat Randy at Hell in a Cell to settle the feud. To cap off this five-month whirlwind of idiocy, Bob Orton Jr. was released shortly thereafter, and, rumor has it, a planned Randy Orton title run (with his dad running interference) went up in smoke like a joint in the Smackdown locker room.
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(The alternate punchline was: “wrecked Randy Orton’s title chances like a UK hotel room.”)

ortontaker32 See, it turned out that well before the match, Bob Orton Jr. had tested positive for Hepatitis-C, which was totally cool with a certain road agent (who may have also told Brock Lesnar to do that Shooting Star Press at WMXIX), but not so much with The Undertaker…
…especially since he didn’t find out until after the match and after Bob had, you know, bled all over him. ortontaker33

No wonder Randy was so scared of his dad.

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Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He also runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws. Follow him on Twitter @Art0Donnell. Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com
28 Responses to "Induction: The Ortons vs. The Undertaker – Possession is 9/10s of the law, but only 1/10 of what made this feud so stupid"
  1. ChrisV says:

    Wasn’t this also the feud where Undertaker unleashed the soul of Kamala on Orton? As described in the story-line, not that I literally believe Undertaker owned Kamala’s soul.

  2. Sean Bateman says:

    At least this is way better than Rob Conway vs the Legends

  3. lipe.cl says:

    i actually liked this storyline, but i laughed out loud with this induction, especially with the hepatitis-c part; hopefully for the current locker room, brock lesnar’s diverticulitis isn’t spread by contact with blood

  4. Hulk6785 says:

    Jesus. They recycled almost everything from past Undertaker feuds for this storyline.

  5. #OPC says:

    This is the stuff we get after Old School Taker returned in 2004. This, and practically the same stuff with Heidenreich.

  6. CP says:

    The least they could’ve done was made the lowrider skit believable…I mean, I know suspension of disbelief and all that, but that wasn’t an explosion, that was the grand finale at the fireworks on the fourth of July.

    • The Bad Ry says:

      The problem was the lowrider was using hydraulic suspension of disbelief instead of the traditional spring suspension of disbelief.

  7. John C says:

    Sadly that would be the only time Josh Mathews would possess any charisma.

    Seeing that car drive by itself I so hope WWE Films will remake ony of my favorite awful movies the James Brolin classic, The Car. You can have your Duels’, Christines’ or even Driving Ms. Daisy but for me nothing beats The Car for demonically driving awesomeness.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Any chance of Josh Mathews being inducted?

  9. Handrew says:

    Muhammed Hassan needs to be inducted at some point if he hasn’t been already (and I can’t find a previous induction either on the new site or in the archives). They couldn’t have screwed up his character any more if they’d tried. As a reminder, his original gimmick was that he was an American born and bred but with Middle Eastern parentage, and as a result he suffered from harassment post-9/11 even though he just wanted to integrate and get on with his life. This could have actually made him a babyface character, but they gave him Daivari as a mouthpiece and I got the idea that the original intention was that Daivari was going to end up being the heel who was manipulating Hassan into being a racist jerk by playing on his negative experiences and convincing him to hate America. In any case, Hassan was a bad guy but there was still an element of truth to what he was saying even though we could see he was taking his prejudices too far. He also had a winning streak that ended with a botched finish in a match against Chris Benoit, which didn’t help matters. However, he then moved over to Smackdown and was being built as a probably future world champion despite still being a bit green, purely because he had an interesting and provocative character. It was provocative because it was uncomfortable, there was nuance to what he was saying and ambiguity in his intentions. Once they went the Terror Cell route, not only was it in bad taste given the amount of misery still caused by Islamic extremists (though it’s not fair to blame them with regards to 7/7 as it was filmed the day before, UPN or whoever was broadcasting it should have edited it out) but it took away anything worth discussing or analysing in Hassan and just made him a cartoonish, one-dimensional villain trying to bank on recent topical events. He essentially went from something unique to something blasé in the blink of an eye, and the fact it was offensive and disgusting was the icing on the cake. I still feel very sorry for Hassan himself who went from the hottest talking point in the company and likely the next World Heavyweight Champion, to a complete waste and a tool for Taker to move into a dumb feud with Orton. This really needs to be inducted. At least Daivari did ok afterwards.

    • Zero says:

      Hassan’s credibility wasn’t hurt by a DQ loss against Benoit.

      It was when he lost in under a minute to John Cena a week before Vengeance. First of only two times he’d ever be pinned in his career (and really one of them was just to write him off permanently) and it was a complete burial.

    • Velvet Al says:

      Sadly, WWE really missed out on a great opportunity with that final angle. They should’ve removed any religious or terrorist overtones and made it an old school “heel hires thugs to take out the face he can’t beat on his own” angle. Then when the media backlash kicked in, WWE could’ve turned around and said that this was no different from what heels have been doing for decades, and that it’s racist/xenophobic for people to read terrorism into Hassan’s actions just because of his ethnicity.

  10. Enhancement Talent II, Mark 3 says:

    Bob Orton Jr’s nickname(s) always confused me too. Was it “The Ace” Cowboy Bob Orton? or was it Cowboy Bob “Ace” Orton? or perhaps Cowboy Bob Orton “The Ace”
    Monsoon must have hated this. He’d never know if he should say “Wow, what a shot by the Ace one!!”
    or “Wow, what a shot by the Cowboy one!!”

  11. Predator says:

    Wonder has Undertaker lost his lightning & possession powers? Its been years since i last saw him do that.

  12. Jimbolian says:

    I’m shocked Bob didn’t release his own brand of ketchup after all this.

    • John C says:

      “We don’t need anyone else selling condiments here damnit!!! SAUCE!!!! SAUCE!!!! SAUCE!!!!”
      The preceding message was paid for by Good Ol’ JR

  13. CP says:

    Wait a sec, I just realized something…

    the draft happened before the Hassan terrorist angle, so how could Orton have been in this angle as a last resort? If I’m not mistaken, he was the first draft pick Smackdown made in the story, no?

    • Velvet Al says:

      If I remember the dirtsheet reports correctly, Orton was supposed to interfere in the Taker/Hassan match at the Great American Bash, making Hassan the number one contender and kickstarting the Orton/Taker feud. So the Hassan issue really didn’t have any effect on the Orton/Taker feud.

  14. Mister Forth says:

    Great wrestlers, bad feud, worse infection prevention techniques.

  15. Kurt says:

    So who’s the road agent in question??

  16. President Clinton Dempsey says:

    If Bob Orton has Hep C I don’t wanna know what Flair has in him, especially after all the blading and kiss-stealin’ he’s done from all the escorts he spent on when he used Evolution as an excuse to binge all the time.

    “To be the Man you must bleed the Man!”

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