Shawn Stasiak is one of those guys that, for whatever reason, just never seems to amount to much in the wrestling business. It’s hard to say why, exactly. He has the look, he has the pedigree (not the move, but rather the fact that he is the son of Stan “The Man” Stasiak), and he has a weird charisma that would seemingly get him over. But no matter what, he never gets anywhere, and just as it appears that he is on to something, he disappears.

Stasiak entered the WWF in the late 90’s, to little fanfare. Deciding that simply billing him as the son of a former WWF champion wasn’t marketable enough, the WWF decided to team him with Terri Runnels, Ryan Shamrock, and Miss Jacqueline, who were known at that time as the Pretty Mean Sisters. Get it? They were bitches known as PMS! Ain’t that a hoot?

Stasiak was the trio’s sex slave known as Meat. You see, because to these rags he was nothing more than a piece of meat that they would use and abuse for their own sick, twisted, and sexually insatiable amusement. For example, they would bang him so much that he would be physically exhausted, and thus he’d be unable to win his matches.

To this day, I am unsure if this was supposed to make him a babyface or a heel. PMS were heels. I got that part of it. It’s Meat’s moral alignment that has me perplexed. Here’s a guy that we’re supposed to feel sorry for because he was losing his matches. However, the reason he is losing said matches is due to the fact that he was having all this sex with these hot horn dogs. Ouch – this is making my head hurt.

Of course, sometimes they wouldn’t actually seal the deal with the poor guy. One night, for instance, Terri was shaking her gravity defying fun bags in our hero/villain’s face. In addition, she was groping Meat’s…uh…meat. But then, like the no good stinky pooch skank she is, she stopped cold turkey, which left this protruding from Meat’s tights (which were designed to resemble underwear):

Yes, he entered the ring with an erection. Not only that, but the WWF actually zoomed in on it! Someone, somewhere, for a reason that I don’t even want to begin to comprehend, actually thought that having a guy go to the ring with a BONER was a good way to pop a rating.

Thankfully, this type of behavior didn’t last much longer, as Meat went back to being Shawn Stasiak shortly after the break up of PMS. Stasiak wound up floating around the WWF’s lower midcard until he was canned for taping conversations of other wrestlers without their knowledge or permission.

Jeez – this guy really was a dick.

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