From the “I sure never knew this happened” file comes our SQUASH of the Week which features an ECW appearance by none other than the legendary RAPMASTER PN NEWS. And this wasn’t the WWE version of ECW, no no – this was honest to goodness original ECW straight outta the bingo hall!

You might expect this hardcore fan base to hate this guy, and rest assured, they most certainly do. While I appreciate him wearing a shirt letting us all know the Phillies SUX SUX (with an additional SUX on the back), pretty sure that’s unnecessary.

But hey, we do get the obligatory rap as he very eloquently explains to the likes of straw hat guy and Hawaiian shirt dude that he’s a big star and that Philly is a dump. Not only that, we even get a YO BABY YO BABY YO! No idea why he’d be getting booed, this is top tier entertainment!

Naturally someone has to come to defend the honor of the ECW faithful, and riding in like the calvary would be one Spike Dudley. Wait, my bad, LITTLE Spike Dudley. See you have to get that first word in there or we wouldn’t get a good ol’ fashioned drug reference to pop the crowd!

Spike charges in with reckless abandon, but News is ready and catches him with a giant bodyslam. He then goes to the second rope for IHAVENOIDEAWHAT, but it was twisty and spinny and landed with a giant thud. A boot to the head, a boot to the nads, and it’s time for Spike’s patented ACID DROP to get the win. And just like that Spike saves his beloved promotion…

…which leads my good friend the Quintessential Studmuffin Joel Gertner to bust out a rap of his own!

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