Terry Funk SQUASH Michael Jackson..or Something Like That

Terry Funk Michael Jackson

Just look at those two men in the image above. Legends in their respective fields or professional wrestling and pop music. And yes, they met inside a WWF ring in 1986.

Michael Saxon

Oh wait, my bad. It was Terry Funk vs. Michael SAXON, not JACKSON. You can understand why I’d be confused, as this man came out wearing a MJ style jacket. And while he didn’t have one on here, he would often wear a silver glove on just one hand, the same as the Thriller himself. You surely understand my confusion.

Terry Funk Michael Jackson

As for the Funker, apparently he has anger management issues. Legit had no idea we even had sensitivity training back in the 80’s, but this guy thinks Terry needs a course in that. I doubt he ever did (but I’d pay to see footage of it).

Terry Funk Michael Jackson

So the match starts, and Terry gets taken to the mat by his opponent. He sure didn’t like that, and responds by beating Saxon over the head with forefists. Yes, that’s a word I just made up to indicate a combination of a forearm and a fist. Feel free to use it in your daily conversations without crediting me.

Terry Funk Michael Jackson

Outside the ring, Saxon decides to go after Funk’s manager Jimmy Hart, giving us a foot race around the ring. Terry sees this nonsense and jumps outside and clobbers Saxon upside the back of his head. Gotta love Jimmy literally hiding under the ring then popping his head out when the coast is clear!

Terry Funk Michael Jackson

Terry punches Saxon repeatedly in the face, then heaves him back out to the ringside area. A few kicks to the noggin come next, then Terry decides that since Saxon isn’t giving him much of a fight, perhaps someone in the crowd might and goes to jump over the rail! Jimmy is there to prevent a massacre of lawsuit-level proportions.

Terry Funk Michael Jackson

Somehow we wind up back in the squared circle, and Terry channels his inner JYD with ground-based headbutts. I always thought those looked so dumb, so Terry adding them to his oft-times goofy offense is par for the course.

Terry Funk Michael Jackson

One Irish whip later, Saxon finds himself locked in a sleeper hold. That’s it for our would be pop star turned wrestler and he goes night night.

Terry Funk Michael Jackson

Funk then grabs his branding iron, and jams it into Saxon’s chest. It leaves a white mark for whatever reason. I mean, there is a reason, they dipped it in paint. I guess we were to think it was searing hot or something. Anyway, Saxon would dance and spin in WWF rings for a short period and then he (you know it’s coming) beat it.

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