Cage of Agony Throws Geek 20 Feet in the Air for SQUASH of the Week!

This may be the quickest turnaround of a SQUASH of the Week ever, as I did something on Saturday I almost never do – watch Collision. You put my boy Will Ospreay on a show (especially against another talented guy like Kyle O’Reilly) and you get my attention. Start putting some good long-term storylines together and things will be just great.

And SPEAKING of great, let’s talk about the utter obliteration we saw at the hands of Cage of Agony. Not gonna lie, when I heard Brian Cage was joining forces with the Gates of Agony and they were redubbing themselves CAGE of Agony, I thought that was kinda dumb. But now it’s kinda growing on me in a “well, that IS kinda dumb, but a lot of things in wrestling are dumb and this is not all that offensive I guess.” Plus if they keep giving us beatings like this I’ll be fully behind them regardless.

Their opponents fodder for the evening would be the threesome of Danny Rose, Ricky Gee, and a very tall dude named KM. Let me just say I’ve never seen any of them in the ring, and I will do that before someone recites their cagematch history to me likely in the comments section below.

So the match starts with Toa Liona running around the ring like a madman, a bulldozer wrecking havoc at every angle. Like seriously, he almost plowed into his own crew before biel throwing one dude half way across the ring in an awesome spot.

Deciding that the smaller guys weren’t going to be able to get it done, KM springboards over the top rope…and right into a powerbomb, a nearly one handed one at that. A German suplex follows as the massacre continues.

KM attempts to escape to the outside but Cage brings him in with a suplex off the second rope. Like that is some freaky strength right there to be able to pull that off. Cage has been a mid carder for so long and forgotten for most of his AEW run it’s kinda crazy to see him just busting out stuff like this.

The little guys resume their attacks but, well, yeah, that doesn’t go well as Cage just throws the guy backwards over his head.

At this point, Kaun notices he hasn’t had a chance to have any fun yet, so he jumps in the ring and nearly decapitates one of the guys with a clothesline. He follows that up with a vicious dropkick into the corner. Now all this has been joyous, but it pales in comparison to the finish, where all three men grab a body part and throw their victim high in the air.

And when I say that, I mean they LITERALLY THREW THE GUY UP IN THE AIR. Other than coming down and nearly breaking his leg on the landing (learn from Adam Copeland, kid!) that actually looks kinda fun. I mean, sure, it probably hurt like heck but isn’t that what a SQUASH of the Week is all about?

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