Ahmed Johnson vs Jake Steele

He’s been the subject of much mockery over the years, but there’s no denying that Ahmed Johnson was a scary, scary dude. In his initial appearances, it was clear to see why Vince McMahon was ready to hook his cart to the guy, no doubt with dollar signs in his eyeballs like some cartoon character. And if anyone needed any proof, they need look no further than this squash match from Raw where the big guy takes on one Jake Steele.

We start out with Ahmed backing Jake into the corner and offering him a handshake. Mr. Johnson would do this you see, because he was a nice fella just looking to make his way in the World Wrestling Federation. Mr Steele slapped his hand away because, well, he was a moron and looking to be utterly destroyed.

Out of the corner, Steele continues his onslaught with some clubbering blows to the back. He would follow this up with a clothesline in the corner…which seems to be agitating his foe. Ahmed reaching a slow boil is definitely fun television.

And about this time he decides enough is enough, reversing a whip out of the corner and essentially decapitating Steele with a clothesline. I mean, that thing looked absolutely brutal.

And now…well, now Ahmed is just angry as can be, hitting whatever the heck this is with his elbow. I may have no clue what that actually was, but I can tell you it appeared that he may have split the guy in two with it, so let’s just call it…effective?

Indeed, a spinebuster follows that looks merciful in comparison. He then mugs for the camera with a tongue that appears to be about a half foot long slobbering out of his mouth. Vince on commentary compares him to Michael Jordan, which has to be the last time in history he ever came close to being timely with a pop culture reference.

What follows would come to be known as the Pearl River Plunge, but here Vince calls it a tiger bomb! It’s always weird to hear Vince call any move by anything other than WWE SPEAK, and hearing the words “tiger” and “bomb” strung together out of his mouth was surreal to say the least.

Watching this, I totally get why the WWF had a major player on their hands. A zillion injuries derailed all that of course, but I can’t say I didn’t find at least this match wildly entertaining and truly worthy of SQUASH of the Week status!

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