Someone Bought This: The Stone Cold Steve Austin necktie is completely useless.

17 Submitted by on Sun, 17 November 2013, 02:48

Stone Cold Steve Austin necktie 1

Now is your chance to own this Stone Cold Steve Austin necktie!

It comes complete with “Stone Cold” logo, “Whoop-Ass 101” (I hear Nathaniel did surprisingly well in that class), and for reasons that escape me; random dots in case Pac-Man comes around and wants a light snack.

Let’s take a closer look…

Stone Cold Steve Austin necktie 2

What I really want to know is where on earth would you wear this thing?

You probably wouldn’t wear it to work, right?

You wouldn’t even wear it on Wacky Tie Wednesday because it’s less “funny” and moreso just embarrassing. Everyone would ask you what “Stone Cold” and “Whoop-Ass 101” meant and you’d just feel like a complete idiot and people would think you’re even weirder.

You wouldn’t wear it to a WWE event because you’re more likely to dress casually for those.

Would you wear it to your Great Aunt Rose’s funeral?

That would be sure to get people talking…

Talking about what a total putz you are, that is!

Thanks to my buddy Micah (who is most certainly not a putz, although he is a nerd) for finding this very um… special necktie.

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17 Responses to "Someone Bought This: The Stone Cold Steve Austin necktie is completely useless."
  1. CBCB says:

    “What I really want to know is where on earth would you wear this thing?”

    Hmm… Austin 3:16…

    Church? 😀

  2. Rose Harmon says:

    Feh. I have an old lady name!

  3. John says:

    Are you kidding what couldn’t you wear it to? First when you attend the next premier screening of the latest WWE Films classic of course that’ll be in your basement since it’ll be direct to video. Second how about when you go to the nearest trailer park opening and want to show up your less friends who are just wearing cut off shorts & wife beaters. Third so you can impress the Fed Ex guy who shows up to at your place to deliver you the latest WWE DVD: Brutus Beefcake’s Greatest Matches.

    Those dots are actually aerial views of all the Steve-Weiser cans he drinks in an average day.

  4. Jozzy Von Rokkenstein says:

    “And that’s the bottom line…because I just tied a full Windsor!!”

  5. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, there really is no occasion where a professional wrestling necktie would be appropriate. Especially one with “whoop-ass” written on it.

  6. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Can’t imagine the rattlesnake himself wearing it…

  7. Time Lord Soundwave says:

    Good lord. Neckties, condoms, porcelain baby dolls. They would really just slap his name on anything. The Attitude Era’s marketing of Austin makes the Hannah Montana franchise look like Calvin & Hobbes.

  8. WaldoFaldoGeraldo says:

    7:00 AM Monday Morning : Hey I’m gonna wear my new Stone Cold Whoop Ass 101 Tie to work!

    4:00 PM. Carrying personal items in a box.

  9. Micah P says:

    Nothing says “I don’t take anything seriously” like wearing this to a job interview. “So, Mr. P what WOULD you say your qualifications are”. “Well, I uh… STONE COLD STUNNER! STONE COLD STUNNER!”

  10. Moorsey says:

    An elderly gentleman wore one of these for his re-TIE-ment party.

    That was KNOT funny.

  11. Brian says:

    Would look great if worn with the APA Bar and Grill shirt.

  12. Lucky Marvel says:

    I own a Stone Cold Steve Austin necktie! A totally different one though. I wore it to my 8th grade formal.

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