I’ve been doing this column for almost a year now. In that time, we’ve paid tribute to many enhancement talents of days gone by. We’ve looked back to the tail kickings received by men such as Frankie Williams, Barry Horowitz, and the Conquistadors, as they moved beyond being just a mere “jobber,” and took that quick, three second count into immortality. But for all the bumbling those guys are responsible for, for all the pain that future inductees like the Mulkys, Sharpes, and Mancinis brought us, this week’s JOTW has them all beat. He was shamed in a way no jobber ever has been shamed before. I can hardly…um – no pun intended – bear to write about it. Ladies and gentleman, I give you……..Mike Justice.
I know what you’re saying. What’s so bad about ol’ Mikey here? I guess it’s time for a quick JOTW evaluation.
Let’s see, he was a mainstay of late-80’s WCW, so let’s rate his Ted Turner jobber-required mullet. Hmmm…. not too embarrassing. Mike’s thinning hair kind of disguises the “Acky-Breaky” hairdo that haunted former WCW jobbers like George South and Trent Knight, among many. His lame ass name? I hate anyone who uses the name “Justice.” Sid, Mike, Dave or anyone else. It just comes off like a bad DC Comics superhero name.
But hey, I’ll give him some credit. If he’s gonna use a name that sounds like he has a spandex fetish, at least he looked the part. Mike was in shape and actually looked like he knew what the word “gym” meant. His tenure in WCW? Well, he was around for a few years in the late 80’s, culminating with a dual appearance at the Clash Of Champions VIII in June of 1989. First he took part in a Great Muta martial-arts exhibition gone wrong, and then later got squashed by Norman the Lunatic in under a minute. Well, that’s nothing special, lots of jobbers got beat down over the years.
Wait a minute…Norman the Lunatic. That’s it.
Lets go back to the fall of 89. The Centerstage in Atlanta would be the sight of one of the most bizarre, ludicrous events ever. One that would involve inanimate object decapitation, bizarre cameo appearances from human clones in the crowd, and yes, Mr.Justice’s infamous moment of history.
As another edition of WCW Saturday Night unfolded, Mikey was in the ring and ready for his Clash rematch against everyone’s favorite key-obsessed mental patient, Mike “Norman” Shaw. At the time, Norman had been leaning towards being a teddy bear-loving fan favorite, and his manager Teddy Long wasn’t too happy about it. Already in a fit of rage before he entered the ring, the future playa’ grabbed Norman’s teddy bear and proceeded to rip it’s head off. I’m on my knees praying Teddy stills remembers this trick should Stephanie McMahon ever return to claim her GM role on Smackdown.
Was the crowd in shock over the savage beheading? Hell no. They loved it. In fact, three guys really loved it, as we see three men who appear to be Killer Kowalkski, Smokin’ Joe Frazier, and Iron Mike Tyson shouting their encouragement.
After the death of his bear, Norman seemed bummed. Justice briefly went on the offensive, until someone stepped in to save the day. Dr.Death Steve Williams, obviously distressed at the passing of the teddy bear, showed up mid-match with a present. No, not just any present, but a new teddy bear. Check that, an orange supersized bear.
Norman was immediately energized and refocused. Norman and the Bear quickly knocked Justice down and climbed to the second rope. Not being a “spot” hog, Norman would give his new buddy a chance to shine in his debut performance. And shine he did. Not until the appearance of RVD some ten years later would we see the likes of the five-star frog splash the Bear pulled off. Stick a fork in Mike Justice, he’s done.
Yes folks, believe it or not, Mike Justice became the first man ever to do the j-o-b for a freakin’ stuffed animal.
Justice hung around for a while longer, doing nothing really noteworthy. His #1 nemesis, the Orange Bear, sadly would never he seen again. But shed no tears loyal Crappers, for his winning spirit lives on. Forget about Hulk Hogan. For one moment…one all too brief moment… the Bear was perhaps the greatest orange wrestler to ever grace the ring.