WWF On The Weakest Link

WWF On The Weakest Link

The early 2000’s saw a brand new “game show boom” where English game show imports made their way to the United States. The most famous being Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? (still on the air but sadly no more Regis as host) and American Idol (sadly still on the air and sadly Ryan Seacrest is still the same host). These game shows brought old faces and new characters into the spotlight, along with catch-phrases that wore out their welcome within a span of 15 minutes and making their way into being referenced on every movie and tv show you could name.

Another British gameshow import that inspired the catch-phrase craze everyone and their 90-year old grandmother without a television used was The Weakest Link. Like Idol, the show featured a sardonic, venom-tongued British host that spared no one’s feelings in cutting a person down to feeling even smaller than they appeared.

The Weakest Link had Anne Robinson, a quick-witted woman with short red hair that could make you feel inadequate and useless. Boy, do I feel sorry for whoever had the task of pleasing HER.

When I heard that the WWF “entertainers” (I’ve been informed I cannot refer to them as “superstars” anymore and there‘s a brand new blur on WWE 24/7 to prove it) were going to appear on The Weakest Link, I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. Who would this sardonic British lady mock with her biting British wit? Let’s meet the contestants, won’t you?

WILLIAM REGAL

Commissioner of the Alliance

TRIPLE H

“The Game, and yes, Kurt Angle’s shirt is available at wwfshopzone.com” Very nice of you to plug someone else’s merchandise there, Hunter.

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY

“Aka Billionaire Princess, AKA co-owner of The Alliance”. Co-owner of The Alliance. There’s another aspect of The InVasion for me to once again push to the back of my brain after I stop mourning for ECW.

LITA

From North Carolina

“From North Carolina”? Yikes, that’s weak.

KURT ANGLE

Won gold medal in 1996 Olympics in Freestyle Wrestling

TRISH STRATUS

Stratusfaction is Guaranteed, according to the 2nd Mrs. Deal.

BOOKER T

5 Time WCW Champion

THE BIG SHOW PAUL WIGHT

Who proceeds to plug Kurt Angle’s book “It’s True, It’s True”, available in bookstores now…maybe.

The entire show would be entirely too long to write up so I’m going to just point out the answers that particularly stand out as being incredibly smart…..or incredibly foolish. More the latter than the former.

Booker T particularly owns the first round in terms of wrong answers.

For example, “On the tv show Alice, Flo was known for saying, ‘Kiss my what?’ Booker T guesses “butt”.

Seriously, he said “butt”, not GRITS.

Dude, EVERYONE has said that at one time or another with the exaggerated southern accent.

Where’s Mel Sharples at when you need to call someone “Dingy”?

(Note from RD: I’m pretty sure Vic Tayback is no longer with us.)

(Note from Blade: I didn’t even know he was sick!)

(Note from WrestleCrap Radio Crickets: chirp, chirp.)

But this one takes the cake.

“What October Federal Holiday celebrates the discovery of America?”

Booker’s response: Thanksgiving.

Digest that one with me, won’t you?

And Big Show does not know that the theme song that goes “a horse is a horse of course, of course” is from Mister Ed.

What did he think it was from? My Mother the Car?

Show had a good excuse, though, as he rightly stated “it was fifty years ago!”

That would be a good excuse if Nick at Nite and TV Land have been rerunning it for the last TWENTY!

Come on, dude, you’d have to have at least flipped past it in mid-theme.

Trish gets a question in which the answer is Rhinoplasty.

RHINOPLASTY.

No offense to Ms. Stratus at all, but I’m quite sure that there are plenty of WWE Divas that are experts on various aspects of surgical enhancement.

Anne gets in a great line at the end of the round, “Who thinks WWF stands for Without Wisdom FOREVAAAHH??!”

She says it with such condescending snobbery, I just love it! Because she is British…and that accent is neat.

Anne asks Stephanie what her nickname is again. “The Billion Dollar Princess” Anne asks again, “Where’d you get the money from?” Stephanie replies ever so proudly, “My daddy!”

Anne: “Who’s your daddy?” (tee hee)

Steph: “Vince McMahon”

Anne: “Never heard of him”

BURN!

“Where are your muscles?” Anne asks.

“Here they are”, Stephanie says as she points to her boobs.

Yeah, those McMahon muscles aren’t real either.

Anne has words for Booker T’s pitiful display, “you’re not showing off your muscles, and certainly not your brain power. How’s your October Thanksgiving?”

The Big Show is voted off in the first round because the Mister Ed question particularly irked the rest of the players.

I’m amazed Booker was not voted off for the Thanksgiving answer but Booker will once again impress us with his amazing ability to answer the simplest questions incorrectly.

“What French word meaning “again” is often shouted at the end of a concert?” Booker says “Oui Oui”

I’m guessing Booker hasn’t been to many concerts where the audience demands an ENCORE! ENCORE!

Trish is statistically the Weakest Link of this round because she thought the capital of Japan was Hong Kong (come on, Trish, you can do better than that).

But Booker T is surely the Weakest Link, so au revoir!

Anne asks Hunter who he’s married to. Hunter says the Billion Dollar Princess. “Marry her for her money?”

“You’re damn right!”

Hey, he said it, folks.

In the next round, Hunter confuses F. Murray Abraham for F. Lee Bailey.

One was on OJ Simpson’s Dream Team, one played Antonio Saliere in Amadeus. I can see how that would be confusing.

Actually no, no I can’t.

Angle gets a Weekend At Bernie’s question and starts chuckling to himself.

I don’t know about you, but the image of Kurt Angle watching Weekend At Bernie’s is probably more entertaining than watching the actual movie.

So far, no one has voted for Hunter or Stephanie to be eliminated. I wonder why….

But anyways, Kurt is the next one gone. He says he’ll be surprised if Lita makes it to the end because she’s more “laid back” than the other ones.

Yes, Lita is “laid back”.

I’m sure Lita has been “laid back” plenty of times if you know what I mean…AND I think you do.

In the next round, Trish gets a question about which President said, “I’m not a what?” There’s a long pause. Oh come on, Trish. You GOTTA know this one!! EVERYONE knows this one!! More pausing. Oh dammit, did the peroxide go to your head, lady??!

“I’m from Canada, I don’t know”.

Awkward.

Everyone votes for Trish. Only Trish has the guts to vote for Stephanie. For that, I want to go on record to apologize for yelling at Trish.

Stephanie says, “She did sleep with my father, which is why I voted her off”. We need the Married With Children laugh track here.

Alas, poor Trish is a goner. There, there, Deal.

In the next round, Stephanie gets a question about the XFL champions….and gets it right! I guess that answers the question about who was the one person still watching towards the end.

Regal gets a question about which magazine published the naked photos of de-throned Miss America Vanessa Williams…and gets it wrong.

I’m sure my old pal Blade was yelling, “PENTHOUSE!! IT’S PENTHOUSE!!” at the television.

Alas, Lita is gone from this round, leaving Regal, Hunter and Stephanie. I don’t like where this is going.

Sure enough, Anne’s fellow countryman is voted off, leaving Hunter and Stephanie as the final two competitors.

I call WORK on this one.

Alas, Hunter bests Stephanie in a best out of 5 competition and wins $48,000 for breast cancer research.

Hunter says that now he has bragging rights.

Stephanie says when they go home, there is BDSM coming Hunter’s way.

Very shrill BDSM, I’m sure.

Yeeech.

Overall, I commend everyone for having the guts to go out there and having to answer questions on national television under pressure. And we really can’t say WE would’ve done a better job until we’ve been in that situation.

But come on, Booker T.

THANKSGIVING???!

In October???!

Somebody get him a calendar for Christmas.

Discuss This Crap!