Women Of Wrestling Deadsite

Women Of Wrestling

Don’t believe the propaganda.

Despite what WWE would tell you, no matter how many times it is said, this woman did NOT invent women’s professional wrestling:

She may have invented the worst hair dye job in the history of man back in 2005 (maybe – the more I look at it, I can’t decide if maybe I actually think it’s better than what she has now?), but she didn’t come up with the idea of having the fairer sex grapple for our amusement.

No, that honor goes to this man:

His name is David McClane. And in the mid 1980s, he brought women into a professional wrestling ring for the very first time with the advent of GLOW: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.

Scoff if you may – us claiming such a thing is certainly no less preposterous than Vince claiming his daughter somehow revolutionized and evolutionized or Stepholutionized women’s rights in this world.

The original GLOW has been glorified over the years to absurd levels. At its roots, GLOW was nothing more than some of the dirt worst comedy colliding with some of the dirt worst wrestling you could possibly imagine. (Also a good description of this site, come to think of it.) It was undeniably campy, but it was by any objective view a terrible television show. Had someone told me twenty-five years ago it would be the premise for a comedy/drama (a dramady?) series on Netflix, I would have told them to check into the nearest rehab center. I’d probably also ask them what a Netflix is since it wouldn’t come into existence for another ten years.

So when GLOW collapsed in the 1980s, no one expected it to ever return. By 1993, professional wrestling as a whole was in bad shape: the WWF was presenting fans with goofy characters that were the foundation for this here website, while WCW was having one-eyed midgets blow up boats and spinning evil wheels of misfortune. But then a chain reaction of events set the wrestling world on fire. Nitro reinvented the business. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin arrived. And an off the rails outfit out of Philadelphia brought fans violence that had never been seen in the US before.

Suddenly, the idea of a GLOW resurrection didn’t seem so far fetched. McClane got back to work, and fashioned WOW – Women of Wrestling. A weekly show would follow, as would an honest to goodness PPV…one that no less than my wife, Mrs. Deal, inducted back in the day! (It’s in the WrestleCrap archives, so yeah, there’s your weekly plug for that.) But for today we are going to focus on something else it gave the world – the WOW home page.

That’s right, kids – it’s time for another DEADSITES induction!

In both .com and .ORG!

Take your pick. They’re identical.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, Deadsites is an idea we blatantly stole from our pal Matt over at Dinosaur Dracula. We go back in time to look at wrestling websites from the past. We’ve done it before, and it’s usually good for a laugh or six.

Here’s to hoping an antiquated capsule summary of the life and times of Jane Blonde won’t let us down!

It is worth noting that the internet of 2001 was quite a bit different than what we experience today. A vast majority of folks were on dial up modems, which was roughly equivalent to being on a -4G cell connection today. Note the NEGATIVE in front of that 4. Trust me, you were happy if that 8kb image of Sable was on your screen in less than 5 minutes.

As content providers at the time, we did the best we could, squeezing every bit of data we could out of files while still making them presentable. Laugh if you will at the rather simplistic menu WOW presented us, but WrestleCrap.com was no better, with a garish rainbow menu that is simultaneously mocked and missed to this day. You can see the entire site as it existed back then in the archives.

Wait, did I already shill that? My apologies.

Let’s dig into the fun and find out…

About WOW?

Why is that a question? Or is that symbol not actually a question mark, but rather something else entirely? If so, what could it be? Free archive access to the best answer in the comments area below.


Man, WOW Power is sure a lot of things. And it’s a tough call to determine just which of those things is best. Jade’s “belief in herself” sounds mighty lame, as does Terri Gold’s “dedication to fitness.”

I guess I’ll go with Lana Star’s million dollar hair by default. She was quite the hottie.

Do the kids still say that?

Let’s get to know all the girls better.

Sorry, the SUPERSTARS.

Hey I ever mentioned how much I dislike that term for wrestlers? Especially wrestlers that aren’t in WWE? Couldn’t McClane have called the Wowzers or something?

Never mind, that may have been the single stupidest sentence I’ve ever written on here.

We’ll see if that lasts until the end of this induction.

WOW had a pretty sizable roster, and better yet, it appears the entire site is still functional. That’s a major issue a lot of times when I do these, as you find something you REALLY want to dive into and are only rewarded with what amounts to a 404 error. Always a total let down.

As I look through this listing, I am pretty amazed that I remember almost all of these women. I watched WOW pretty much weekly when it originally aired so it would be logical I would, but as I get older I honestly have a hard time remembering if I took my pills in the morning or not.

Get a drink and settle into your favorite chair – we’re going to go through every single woman on the WOW roster!

First up, we head to the ocean and meet the BEACH PATROL. I bet they like to party party party. (Over the years, I’ve tended to cut Hulk Hogan slack, as I find his ever more fictitious stories of his life and career to be charming in a Paul Bunyon tall tales manner. But getting that ridiculous song stuck in my head has me pretty much ready to murder the guy. You too, Jimmy Hart!)

That’s not much of a synopsis for these two. I thought these things usually had a bit more detail. Still, you have a few weeks left if you want to send Sandy a birthday card. Just mail it to her hometown: CALIFORNIA.

I’m sure it will get there!

Right outta Hog Hollow comes Beckie. This website helpfully answers the age old question of one of Blade Braxton’s ex-girlfriends, which was (screamed at the highest decibels imaginable), “Who’s Beckie?”

The answer of course is the Farmer’s Daughter.

According to her page, she also has a POWER MOVE, like something out of an old (and amazing) video game.

I don’t believe that is possibly true. I wonder if that video link works?

Holy crap it does!

And holier crap it was legit!

That looks so good I won’t even snark out and ask why a hillbilly is doing a 450 splash.

Maybe it’s just me, but I would never promote a woman by stating “the ground shakes when she walks.” I think she would likely get offended.

Also, I don’t want her to go boom boom on me. Pretty sure that’s baby slang for taking a dump.

While I was mocking the poor Beach Patrol for having California as their hometown, Bronco Billie’s is worse – it’s THE RANCH. It’s good to know she’s a cowgirl at heart – I would have never guessed it from her name or get up.

Or would that be getty up?

(If anyone makes it through this whole induction you deserve hazard pay.)

PRISON TOUGHS Caged Heat are up next. While this looks like the longest write up yet, you ain’t seen the half of it, as I simply cropped that image so this wasn’t a 500 px by 10000px JPG that crashed every computer happening upon the site this week. For the sake of completion, here is their full background:

Out on work release or maybe a prison break, Caged Heat is a tag team originally comprised of Delta Lotta Pain and Loca. A violent criminal, Delta Lotta Pain is proud to be the toughest inmate in her cellblock. Aggressive and at times brutal, she loves to put the hurt on her opponents–facing Delta can be hazardous to your health.

Loca is a wild Latina who goes out of her way to live up to her name. She’s tough and loves a good fight. When she goes off on a tear, Loca rants in Spanish to intimidate her opponent…as if this tattooed brawler isn’t frightening enough! She’s living la vida loca and is crazy about it.

Never in the history of women’s wrestling has a tag team created such an impact on the sport. Arriving by prison van from the Nevada State Correctional facility, Delta Lotta Pain and Loca are taken in handcuffs to a special holding cell erected in the arena. For the protection of their opponents and the fans alike, Caged Heat is locked up before their matches. Once unleashed, Caged Heat functions as a well-oiled machine geared for destruction. Their disregard for competitors, officials and fans alike has led to near riots during their matches and special security must often be called in to restrain them and restore order.

The prison toughs cut through the competition in WOW’s first Tag Team Tournament like a hot knife through butter. Caged Heat appeared unstoppable until they met Harley’s Angels in the finals. The bikers did everything possible to insure their success in the tournament by bringing in Thug as a third wheel. The heavyweight interfered in every match in which the Harley’s Angels participated by alternately slugging opponents, pulling her girls out of holds, splashing foes and setting them up for pins. Caged Heat knew they had to counteract the gang leader’s presence, so the night of the match they made sure they had an ace up their orange jump suited sleeves. At a pivotal point in the bout, they unveiled their third homey – Vendetta.

Originally a cellmate of Delta and Loca, Vendetta was separated from the group when the three together proved too combustible. The most explosive of the combination, Vendetta wants the world to pay for the wrongs she has suffered. The chip on her shoulders only serves to strengthen her anger. Her fellow prisoners knew her rage and strength would be an asset against Thug and they sprang her for the match.

Vendetta charged into the ring and systematically took out the Harley’s Angels enabling Caged Heat to become the WOW Tag Team Champions. As the prisoners awaited their belts, a brawl ensued and Thug and Vendetta wound up standing toe-to-toe. The powerhouse shocked the veteran biker as she scooped her up for a body slam followed by more punishment from Delta and Loca. The trio became the warden’s worst nightmare.

A write up that long can mean but one thing: one of these girls was running the website.

Had to be.

Fiery Client is a Latina superwoman who apparently isn’t a fan of stereotypes. It’s fortunate that she’s in a promotion that has none of them whatsoever, especially herself.

Also, the last sentence in her bio would be a lot better if it didn’t contain the word “dancing.”

This former WOW World Champion may have the best backstory of anyone, as she uses both guns and swords AND is a college champion in track and field!

I volunteer right now to ghost write her autobiography, so long as it is entitled “The Danger Story: Bullwhips, Broadswords, and the 40 Yard Dash.”

As I recall, The Disciplinarian was a heel. With this information, however, I would have never been able to boo her; I too think the education system has totally wimped out and warped our kids. If this woman never got heat by shoving a bar of Lifeboy in someone’s mouth, it was a true missed opportunity.

Ok, this I do not remember AT ALL. How is it possible I have zero recollection of Farah the Persian Princess? The woman utilized BELLYDANCING AS A WEAPON!

If this site had video of such an action, I promise you WOW would not only still be in business, but Vince McMahon’s only role in this industry would be running to Arby’s every night to get David McClane’s dinner.

No joke, halfway through the second paragraph, my eyes kinda blurred out and I read the following: “Selina Majors, Terri Gold, Caged Heat and others has have Harley’s Angels NAKED women…which is just how they like it.”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.

The woman that Bobby Heenan proclaimed “Mrs. Vila” on the WOW PPV! I still laugh at that line nearly 20 years later. Man I miss the Brain.

As for Heather, I can’t be the only one very concerned that she’s wearing a hammer on her belt, and that the text notes she has “all the tools to nail her opponents to the mat.”

She’s not going to do that literally, right?

Every one of these bios is chuck full of puns, but I don’t think any come close to this one. Somewhere, Arnold Schwarzenegger is smiling.

The more I look at Ice Cold, the more I think this is what the crack WWF creative staff had in mind when Steve Austin asked them to come up with a cold nickname for his character. Had she been dubbed Chilly McFreeze (which WAS a name suggested for Austin!!!), it would confirm someone had bolted WWF for WOW.

For now, it’s just my theory.

(And I bet it happened.)

Mock if you will, but I think Jacklyn Hyde is actually a kinda sorta remotely clever name for a chick with a split personality. With that said, having her smiling and looking like a teacher getting a picture with her third grade class kinda undermines the character.

Dear Blade Braxton-

A few weeks ago on Facebook you teased that you were going to be coming back and writing new jobber material. While we all shook our heads and knew better than to expect, well, anything, if you do ever get off your lazy can and start pecking away at the keyboard again, we would suggest this for your next post.

When the WOW website is proclaiming to the world that you’ve been “unable to break into the win column”, that’s pretty much confirming you are the jobbiest jobber that ever jobbered of the week.

I always dug the Jane Blonde character; anyone with the cajones to blatantly rip off 007 is a-ok in my book. But after reading this, I love her all the more, as I now learn she was not only in Her Majesty’s Secret Service, but also related to the SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM.

That’s like the most amazing crossover I’ve ever imagined. My head hurts from the unlimited creative possibilities this would provide.

Our parade of idiotic hometowns continues, as this competitor hails from THE JUNGLE. And here we all mocked WWE all those years for telling us anyone who didn’t come from the US, Canada, or Britain was from THE ORIENT.

Mad props for being dubbed Jungle Grrrrl and not the more traditional Jungle Girl. I remember when that was a hot spelling for like six weeks back in the early 2000’s. Also I’m a big fan of anyone whose finisher (sorry, POWER MOVE) is a BELLY FLOP.

But let’s be serious – as great as Jungle Grrrl’s finisher (dangit, POWER MOVE) may have been, it pales to the greatest name of ever for a signature move – that being Lana Star’s FACE LIFT!!!! If ever a name needed to be stolen from this company, it would be that one right there.

Lana was by far the woman with the most aura and charisma in this troupe. It wasn’t just her looks (though she was admittedly a smoke show), but just that special…it.

And did I mention what a great name she had for her finisher? Even if I did, I could say it 10,000 times and it would never get old. THE FACE LIFT!!!

What are the odds that a pair of police officers would be named Nicky Law and Christy Order?

That’s just very fortunate for these two.

Poor Lotus, she was tired of Asian stereotypes.

Wait a minute. If that was the case, why didn’t she just change her name to Jennifer Smith or something?

Missed opportunity: this woman was from Tonga, and they named her Paradise. Queen Tonga would have absolutely ruled.

I bet she would have even come with crown as illustrated.

Randi Rah Rah was one of two cheerleaders in WOW. The other was Lana Star’s partner in crime, Patti Pep, later rechristened Patii Pizazz. I don’t remember Randi at all, but Patti was a big favorite in the Reynolds household…so much so that our dog’s full name was Piper Pizazz.

It was a tribute to Roddy Piper…and some girl that was so low on the WOW totem pole she didn’t even make their crappy website.

Man I miss that dog.

I like that the site describes Riot (who was basically their ECW character) as being extremely innovative.

Extremely innovative with her ever-present baseball bat.

I’d like to think she used it to somehow churn butter and change tires.

That legit may be the most bland of any of these bios.

She’s an athlete?

She can do kickboxing?

What would that have to do with the world of combat sports?

Oh wait, right…

Whereas Roxy’s was the worst, this one may be the best. I love the idea that a woman saved her wrestling earnings to buy a chicken farm…which allowed her to then go back to wrestling.

It’s like a snake eating its tail in women’s wrestling form.

The guys who did that Andre the Giant biopic on HBO need to come back and do Selina.

And by that, I mean produce a documentary about her life.


Heel basketball player wrestlers ROCK. The world needs to be filled with them.

SPOILER: I’ll explain another one in much greater detail in my NEXT induction.

By golly, if I didn’t know any better, I would think that Tanja just might possibly maybe a rip off of Xena: Warrior Princess. Unlike Danger, Tanja would rather leave her broadsword at home.

(No, RD, don’t do it. Don’t make a joke about a woman carrying a BROADsword. Just…don’t. The days of talking like Dean Martin are long since passed.)

Terri Gold was designed to be WOW’s numero uno babyface, but man is this another dull write up. Meaning her bio, not this induction, but I can see where you may be confused. While some may be impressed that she begins her day at 4:30am, you kinda need to tell us what the rest of her day is like.

I mean, if she goes to bed at 5pm, I’m not that impressed.

Thug is a great name for a wrestler…has there ever been anyone named THUG in a major promotion? I wonder if she, like Tanja, would rather leave her weapon of choice (pool stick) at home. I’d like to think she wouldn’t.

I’d also like to think that her hometown should be the same place we’re told she was raised – “a pool hall in Georgia.” I picture her parents rocking her to sleep with Freebird blaring on a worn out jukebox.

And just like that, Lana Star’s epic reign of having the best finisher name in history ends at 548 words, exceeded by THE BLOWOUT.

It’s also the second baby poop reference I’ve made in this induction.

I sure hope Mrs. Deal isn’t pregnant.

Egads, we FINALLY made it through the entire roster. I cannot even fathom anyone is actually still reading. I wonder if I could just lorem ipsum the rest of this post.

Eh, we’ve made it this far, so let’s wrap it up. InterACT is…

…well, an email address, one from which you ain’t going to get a response. Which is a shame, as I would kill to check out some of the email sent to, say, Jacklyn Hyde. Best email to her in the comments section below also receives free archive access.

Humor me, kids, even if I didn’t do the same for you today.

The absolute last section is entitled Season One, and is a synopsis of the entire first year of WOW. Here’s the highlights:

— Terri Gold won a battle royal and the title.

— Jungle Grrrl lost to her in a match, got angry. Guessing she also growled. Or maybe grrrrowled.

— Danger and Riot were friends. Then they weren’t. Then Danger won the belt.

— Then Gold won the belt back. Sadly, even though this was on PPV, the only available shot was one that appeared to be from a 10th generation dub from a BASF T-120 on SLP. Man I am old. If you get any of those references, you are too.

— Jungle Grrrl and Beckie had a battle that could only be won with a splash. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling over the years, and I am 99% sure I’ve never seen another match with that exact stipulation. Nor would I really want to.

— Thug battled Gold for the belt. She also appeared to turn a strange greenish-orange hue in the process for reasons the article sadly doesn’t mention.

— Caged Heat has another giant write up. Yeah, one of these chicks were definitely running the website. I should hunt them down and see if they could help me with some WordPress issues I’m having.

— Jade, who you will recall had never won a match, asked her grandmother to come to the WOW PPV so she could honor her with a victory. She lost again. Hope you’re not expecting anything out of the will, kid.

— Patti Pizazz is FINALLY mentioned!

— Ice Cold gets her head shaved!

— This induction is over!

It was a long battle, friends, but we made it through this together. With this weekend being Mother’s Day, let us all celebrate the women in our lives who made us who we are today.

Even if they raised you in a Georgia pool hall.

N0 – especially if they raised you in a Georgia pool hall.

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