Back in 1999, WCW mailed out a so-called PowerDisk. This CD-ROM contained video clips, but the catch was that it could only be played while online thanks to an encrypted video format. Like so many things WCW did, there wasn’t really any good reason to do this, and when the relevant servers shut down the following year, the videos became unplayable for the next 25+ years.
But thanks to a clever hacker inspired by memories of the bonkers content locked within, the WCW PowerDisk has finally been cracked.
Many of the videos on the PowerDisk were short clips of wrestlers like Ric Flair or Hulk Hogan introducing themselves, saying their catchphrases, etc.
Half these promos were just ads for their merchandise.
Diamond Dallas Page, for instance, showed off an official hat with a pocket! Now there’s an original pitch: Buy DDP’s hat—there could be money in it!
There were also a handful of straight-up TV commercials for Slim Jim and Surge.
Another batch of videos were short highlight reels, like this one titled “KIDVID” that turned out to be about Billy Kidman.
A mysterious “Hacker” repeatedly appeared in silhouette but, unlike the hacker from the beginning of this article, he never did anything useful.
There was also a less-mysterious guy named Chad who met up with some of WCW’s stars…
…walking in on a disheveled Brian Knobs…
…before tagging along with Scotty Riggs. The former American Male had little use for Chad, whom he called a stupid klutz (with “stupid” bleeped out for some reason)…
…but he brought him to a bar anyway to pick up ladies.
The lucky owners of the WCW PowerDisk were also treated to clips of “classic” matches, each lasting a minute or two.
This disk must have gone out in October, because the only match clips were from Halloween Havocs past. Even then, some of the choices were flat-out ridiculous.
I mean, the Monster Truck Sumo match from Havoc ’95, complete with The Giant’s 80-foot fall and re-emergence unscathed?
I say “flat-out ridiculous” because Paul Wight didn’t even work for the company anymore.
But the main attraction of the WCW PowerDisk was its three exclusive match-ups, taking place at WCW’s PowerSite. The PowerSite, of course, was home to the CyberDome, which contained the CyberRing.
Basically, in 1999, the only way to put a match on the computer was to put the wrestlers into the computer. “Live cyber-action in a virtual environment”, Scott Hudson called it.
Truly, this was wrestling for the new millennium. And who better to introduce this vision of the future than Mean Gene Okerlund…
…a man who knew more about CyberRing than most would care to imagine?
Due to the mammoth tusks surrounding the ring, the wrestlers couldn’t make a normal entrance. Instead, Erik Watts beamed into the ring via a “CyberBugZapper”.
His opponent? The man who handed Bill Goldberg the first loss of his career. No, not Kevin Nash. I’m talking about Chad Fortune—
—although, considering he started out with this marvelous head of hair and ended up bald, he should’ve probably picked a new last name. Fortune abandoned you long ago, my friend.
Long-time Crappers will of course recognize Chad as Troy (or possibly Travis) from the Tekno Team 2000. His partner? None other than Erik Watts.
The tag team of the year 2000 might not have made it past 1996 as a team, but as opponents they very nearly made it to the year 2000 in the CyberRing of the future.
And talk about cutting edge! We’re talking three—count ‘em—three fixed camera angles, green-screen technology, and a dungeon atmosphere not unlike Midway’s recent arcade hit Mortal Kombat.
We’re talking ring posts to nowhere and fire on exactly one side of the ring.
Plus, the whole CyberDome had the seal of approval not only of the nWo, but WCW, whose bird shit logo emblazoned the walls like a spirograph. Even Larry Zbyszko, inventor of Larry Land, thought this set-up was out of this world.
Watts and Fortune took turns trying to throw each other into the spikes popping up intermittently around the ring. Now, could one actually be hurt by virtual reality? No one knew for sure, but Erik Watts didn’t want to be the one to find out, hanging onto the ropes for dear life.
Even though the whole thing looked like WWF In Your House for PlayStation, the announcers took it all seriously, playing up not only the dangers of the CyberRing, but the historical significance of this first CyberMatch. Disgracefully, Watts pulled the tights to get the win…
…attacked the referee…
…and nearly set Fortune’s feet on fire.
Next up was another match that could open any WCW Saturday Night taping in the country: Kenny Kaos and Chase Tatum. It’s pretty obvious why they didn’t stick any top stars like Sting or Goldberg in the CyberDome: they couldn’t afford to lose a main-eventer to a retracting spike accident!
Scott and Larry took a break from all the cutting-edge cyber action to discuss hat pins before Tatum suplexed Kaos “right out of his shorts”. What kind of cyber action were we talking about here? Thankfully, this was just hyperbole, and Kenny’s cyber testes remained concealed.
With the CyberRing came new strategies. Larry suggested Chase push Kenny Kaos’s face toward the spikes—not to kill his opponent necessarily, but to scare him. That man is CyberSick! Scott noted that with all the deadly hazards around the ring, wrestlers didn’t dare climb the ropes. Bill Watts would be proud.
Nonetheless, Kaos mounted the top rope and delivered a flying leg drop for the victory.
The final bout from the Power Plant PowerSite saw Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker face Hardbody Harrison. This time, defying all known laws of cyberphysics, Harrison pulled a flex bar out of thin air and started working out with it…
…before tossing it to a virtual audience member…
…who later tossed it to Sarge. The announcers identified this ordinary piece of fitness equipment as a CyberStick. The referee, putting safety first, confiscated it and tossed it into the wall of flames just outside the ring.
Instead, Sarge won fair and square with a knee drop.
All in all, WCW really dodged a bullet with their CyberRing, as despite all the hazards, everyone emerged unscathed. Chad Fortune didn’t get impaled on a tusk. Chase Tatum didn’t get stabbed with a spike. Hardbody Harrison didn’t get consumed in a lake of fire (not yet, at least).
What other regrettable wrestling relics are out there, hidden on giveaway CD-ROMs? Get to hacking, ‘Crappers!
CyberVocabulary:
- CyberBugZapper (n.)
- CyberChampion (n.)
- CyberDome (n.)
- CyberGirls (pl. n.)
- CyberMatch (n.)
- CyberRing (n.)
- CyberSick (adj.)
- cyberspace (n.)
- CyberStick (n.)