|Another year, another Los Angeles Lakers NBA Championship victory under their belts. A real close call too. Celtics were leading the whole game then faltered in the very last quarter and couldn’t regain their lead. I’m guessing the players were having more fun watching Jack Nicholson’s reactions than playing the game, I know that’s the big reason why *I* watch Lakers games (seriously, Nicholson is the best). Personally, my loyalties lie with the New York Knicks but I’m guessing it’s safe to say they won’t win an NBA trophy during my lifetime. |
Or your lifetime.
Or your children’s lifetime.
Or your grandchildren’s lifetime.
Or…well, you get the jist.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, Jack Nicholson is a Lakers fan, just like Vince McMahon.
What’s that? You didn’t know Vinny was a fan of the purple and gold? Then you must have not been watching Raw back in May of 2009.
Consider us jealous.
You see, by skipping out on the show, you missed a Vinny Mac hissy fit for the ages, one that led to him pledging his allegiance to Kobe Bryant and the boys. In a nutshell, WWE had booked their RAW taping at The Pepsi Center a year in advance to take place in May of 2009. However, The Pepsi Center and E. Stanley Kroenke, owner of The Denver Nuggets, came to a verbal agreement, AFTER the WWE had been booked in The Pepsi Center, for Game 4 of the NBA Western Conference Finals between the Lakers and the Nuggets to take place at the arena. Despite the fact the WWE had a written contract that granted them use of the Pepsi Center on the exact date, the verbal agreement superceded the written one and the WWE was shut out of The Pepsi Center in favor of the hometown Nuggets.
Now we don’t blame for Vince being upset. We won’t even bring up the fact that WWE often cancels shows and give arenas less notice than what Kroenke gave WWE on a fairly regular basis. We could bring that up, but we won’t.
(Note from RD: Pretty sure you just did.)
Oh yeah, you’re right. Oh well.
Back to Vince. Did he have a right to be angry? Yes.
But did he have to waste several hours of WWE TV to throw a temper tantrum on air?
|The situation actually created major publicity for WWE and was talked about on ESPN shows such as SportsCenter and my personal favorite, Jim Rome is Burning. I’m kind of surprised Jim didn’t get cute and start calling Vince “Ed”. |
(Note from RD: You’re talking Rome, not Chris Berman!)
|Vince (who looks EXACTLY like Tony Randall in that screen cap) accused Stan Kroenke of not having faith in the team to book them in the Finals way ahead of schedule, and of bad business practice. |
This from the man who OK’d a Kevin Nash WWF title run, King Mabel, and created the World Bodybuilding Federation and the XFL.
|He says he bears no ill will toward the Nuggets team, which won’t last long, and holds up a Kobe Bryant jersey to present to Kroenke. |
Oooo!! Well played, Mr. McMahon!!
Snap and BURN!
Score Vince, 2. Kroenke, zero.
|And Triple H apparently has to comment on it as well cause the world wants to know what he thinks because he isn’t nearly getting enough promo time on television as he was in 2002. |
Shouldn’t you be knocking Stephanie up with more future soap opera named babies?
|Anyways, Vince decided to take the high road, look past this unfortunate incident, move ahead and book an entertaining wrestling program with young up-and-coming talent and engrossing feuds that will draw money. |
HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!
If you believed any of that then I’ve got Blockbuster Video stock with your name on it.
In true Vince fashion, he decided to make this issue front and center of his RAW television show, despite the fact 99.9% of wrestling fans really didn’t give a crap.
And he went to the trouble of booking the RAW show that was supposed to be at the Pepsi Center at the Lakers home arena The Staples Center.
|Even having a Stan Kroenke…or Ted Turner(???)…look-alike to go on a very long in-ring monologue insulting the promotion and the fans. You know, I’ve noticed the ONLY time people on RAW get any kind of genuine heel heat reaction is when they dress up like someone famous or they’re Kevin Federline. |
(Note from RD: Ahh, K-Fed. If ever there was a guy who should be the mystery GM on Raw, it’s that guy. I’d totally mark out if Michael Cole revealed the emails he’s reading aloud these days are from email@example.com.)
|By the way, there are about 300 cutaways to the signs in the crowd during this segment. Probably the most I’ve seen with the exception of times during times of bad PR when WWE needed “the fans still love us!” reassurance. Almost as if to say, “you may think this segment is pointless and unnecessary, but look at all these people. |
|For the record, Stan Kroenke never booked Katie Vick. |
|While Stan/Ted complains about the graphic of him having devil horns while Vince has a halo on his head (IRONY~!), Vince comes herkying and jerkying down the ramp. For some reason Stan looks shocked to see Vince, despite the fact he’s on VINCE’S SHOW. |
It’s like when Hulk Hogan kept expressing a look of “shock” when Elizabeth would drag him out to ringside every week to save Randy Savage.
After the 3rd time if you’re still shocked, you’re officially an idiot.
|Vince jokes that he’s going to start a new basketball league and call it the “XBA”. |
Somewhere the WrestleCrap Radio Crickets are chirping.
But it’ll be a failure cause Stan and his staff will be running it. You are a card, Mr. McMahon. Can I get an Arsenio “WHOOP WHOOP!” on that?
|After he complains that Stan/Ted didn’t call him up (incidentally, I’d like to think one day Stan will call him up and say, “Vince I’m in the wrasslin’ business”), he makes fun of the pretentious first initial in “E. Stanley Kroenke” and says he never met anyone with a first initial as a name before. |
Ahem, I beg your pardon sir, but have you not heard of a little character actor out there named “M. Emmett Walsh”?
|Vince says the “E” stands for, “ENOS” . He says, “ENOS!! YOU’RE AN ENOS!!” about ten times as Stan/Ted covers his ears, oh so ashamed. |
|There’s a famous Hall of Fame (that you can actually VISIT) baseball player named Enos Slaughter. |
|But Vince demonstrates his razor sharp wit by rhyming “Enos” with…a certain male organ he doesn’t mention but keeps implying. |
I can’t fathom why people say RAW is nothing but a Saturday Night Live wannabe sketch show where “wrestling” is next to nil.
|Vince ends this 40 minute segment by telling Stan/Ted that he thinks he can push “The WWE Universe” (ugh) around but “The WWE Universe” (gag me) pushes back, and demonstrates by shoving Kroenke to the mat. |
Yeah, you’re doing it for the fans, are ya Vince?
|And then we get a big “LA Lakers” Vs. “Denver Nuggets” main event tag match that reminds us all, in case the point hasn’t been hammered home, the Nuggets in the form of The Miz, Cody Rhodes, Ted Dibiase Jr., The Big Show and Randy Orton (aka “The Bad Guys You’re Supposed to Boo”), will be defeated by the Lakers in the form of MVP, Jerry Lawler (cause he was desperately needed as much as the previous segment and this match), Mr. Kennedy, John Cena and Basketball Jones himself, Batista!|
|Anyways, life went on afterwards and the Nuggets were eventually defeated by The Lakers in the real life playoffs.|
This ranks right up there with many of the pointless “doesn’t further the company or fans in any way” segments on Raw in the very recent years. Considering most of the “WWE Universe” (wretch) didn’t care about any of this (we’re talking about a Gooker nominee for 2009 here) and was gypped out of seeing actual wrestling and feuding that mattered in the context of the program, it’s my opinion that in the end, Vince McMahon Jr. is the real person that pushed the “WWE Universe” around with impunity.
And you know what? I’ve never seen Vince in Laker’s colors since.
Better watch out Vince – if he finds out your just a poser, Jack may go all R. P. McMurphy on your ass!