Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

I don’t like to oversell things, but Shane McMahon’s WrestleMania 39 mishap was the funniest thing to ever happen to anybody.

Picture this:

It’s Night Two of WrestleMania 39. Hosts Snoop Dogg and the Miz stand in the ring to announce the event’s massive attendance. The night before, Snoop had put Miz into an impromptu match with NFL kicker-turned-announcer Pat McAfee…

…which McAfee won in short order.

So it’s predictable that Snoop will spring a second opponent on Miz tonight. What’s not predictable is the identity of that opponent:

None other than Shane McMahon, assumed to be on the outs with WWE and his father, the owner. The crowd goes nuts.

Shane dances down the aisle and around the ring.

He tells the fans how much it means to him to be back at WrestleMania.

Shane McMahon

And he falls right on his ass.

Immediately, laughter erupts at the O’Donnell household like it never has before and never will again.

Now, I realize it’s wrong in principle to laugh at the misfortunes of others. And if it were AJ Styles or Sami Zayn or even the Miz injuring himself in front of a massive crowd, it wouldn’t be funny.

But it’s Shane McMahon, so it is. Oh boy, is it ever!

If you’ve followed WWE for long enough, I suppose you don’t need an explanation —

— in which case, come back next week for Veer Mahaan.

But for the uninitiated, I’ll explain.

Shane McMahon’s in-ring career can be divided into three parts. First, he baffled WWE fans with his willingness to take insane bumps:

High bumps

Long bumps

Table bumps

Glass bumps

And while it was arguably unfair of a part-timer to upstage WWE regulars (who, after all, had to wrestle hundreds of times a year), he still had the audience’s respect.

The next part of his career was spent trying to look not only braver than the rest of the roster, but stronger too.

Shane surprised — and mystified — fans by not only picking a fight with the next world champion, but punching him out.

Punching him out with the most pathetic punches ever thrown…

…and felling Orton with a flurry of punches to the air…

…while also single-handedly taking out his lackeys, including a young Cody Rhodes.

Shane then left WWE to strike out on his own in the business world. In his five-year absence, his reputation grew as the only sane McMahon — hence his name, Sane McMahon [sic].

At last, Shane returned to complete the third and final phase of his in-ring career, riding a wave of good will right into the ground. Shane managed to outstay his welcome in his very first match back…

…battling the Undertaker at WrestleMania in a Hell in a Cell match for half an hour.

I swear, that sentence just got worse and worse the longer it went on — much like the rest of Shane’s WWE run.

For the next several years, it was all Shane, all the time. He ran SmackDown

…won the “Best in the World” trophy in Saudi Arabia…

….pinned Roman Reigns…

…jumped off many high places…

…and put the spotlight on himself every WrestleMania.

Finally, after Shane tried making the entire 2022 Royal Rumble about himself, even his own father was sick of him…

…sending his son home with no WrestleMania match and a measly 800 grand. Reportedly, Vince McMahon was so fed up, he vowed Shane would never get another pop again.

For fans sick of Shane O’Mac, there was no better ending for him than this private humiliation. But they were very, very wrong.

WrestleMania 39

A year later, Vince apparently had a change of heart. With the impending TKO merger, WrestleMania 39 would be the last McMahon-run WrestleMania. So why not let Shane McMahon have one last moment in the spotlight?

Shane O’Mac did indeed get one last pop from the purported 81,000 fans — exactly one. Because after his music hit, there wasn’t a whole lot to cheer for. Already winded from his entrance

(It was a long ramp)

…Shane jabbed Miz into the corner…

…then whipped him into the ropes, dropped to the mat, and popped up for a leapfrog.

Bear in mind that Shane McMahon was 53 years old, the same age as his dad when he wrestled his first match.

Shane had no more business doing leapfrogs than Vince would have had back in 1999.

Shano definitely got enough air, but it was the landing that proved tricky.

In a case of miraculously bad timing, Michael Cole declared that “Shane’s still got it!” milliseconds before Shane crumpled to the mat with a serious injury.

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler made a lot of great calls for Shane McMahon over the years, but on this night they couldn’t hold a candle to the duo of Michael Cole and Corey Graves.

Cole: “Shane’s still got it!”

Graves: “No.”

In homes across the country (especially one particular house in Baltimore), howls of laughter echoed off the walls, rattled the windows, and spooked the neighbors’ dogs.

Backstage at SoFi Stadium, Vince McMahon no doubt stared blankly at his monitor —…

— not surprised, just disappointed.

Fifteen seconds into the action, the match had come to a complete standstill.

Improvising, Snoop Dogg gave Miz two punches to the face…

…which Miz sold so well, you couldn’t even tell they were nearly as off-the-mark as Shane’s.

Per the referee’s audible instructions, Snoop set up for the People’s Elbow.

Pro that he was, Snoop even sacrificed his own sunglasses for the greater good, flinging them in lieu of an elbow pad into the crowd.

For many watching at home, this was the moment they realized, Wow, Snoop is old.

Wisely, Snoop bounced off the ropes as gingerly as possible — he was nearly 53 years old, remember —

— before hitting the elbow and pinning Miz in a match he wasn’t even in. Sure, whatever!

Somehow, Miz had lost to a scrawny 52-year-old rapper…

…and Snoop had run the ropes like this…

…and neither man was even a contender for most embarrassing performance of the segment.

Meanwhile, medical staff carried Shane McMahon backstage as he watched Snoop steal his big WrestleMania send-off.

Backstage, Shane received a diagnosis for that most McMahon of all injuries: a torn quadriceps.

The injury may have robbed Shane of his win, but he’ll always have the memories…

…the commemorative jersey…

…and the WWE Network footage.

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