I know I’ve mentioned it before, but Jordan and I keep a big ol’ spreadsheet of possible inductions here on the site. It’s gigantic, and it covers every possible promotion seemingly on planet earth, mostly concentrated on the big ones like WWE, AEW, WCW, etc.. But there’s a column that is simply listed as “Misc” that has random stuff on it that sometimes has me scratching my head. And when I saw “Sabu vs. Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart” on there, I almost ripped through my scalp and into the brainy goo beneath. Like…how…when…why?
I pondered if it was possible that Neidhart and Sabu could have possibly been in WCW at the same time, but that’s not the case. And a quick glance at Neidhart here, well, he more or less looks like the Anvil of the Hart Foundation days.
Turns out this tool place after Sabu was famously fired by Paul Heyman in ECW as he took a booking in Japan and Paul was not happy about it. You know who also isn’t happy about it? Me, because 30+ years later I am reviewing a match of him vs. Jim Neidhart.
I honestly cannot think of a larger clash of styles than these two. But hey, who knows, perhaps the match will turn out to be good and I’m just being a negative Nellie. So it gets started and Neidhart just seems to be observing Sabu, like he’s some type of animal at the zoo he’s never seen before. He quickly retreats outside the ring, then slowly, very slowly, Larry Zbyszko slowly makes his way back inside.
The match starts in earnest with an honest to God LOCK UP, straight out of the Greco-Roman days of yore. Neidhart clubbers him on the back and whips him into the ropes, with Sabu doing a wacky flip into a drop kick, which the Anvil sells as if he’s been shot in the stomach with a cannonball.
Yep, just like that. Watching it, I’m shocked Vince never had one of his wrestlers do that gimmick legit.
Neidhart recovers well enough to lock on a side headlock, then plows Sabu over with a shoulder tackle. He goes for another, but Sabu deftly side steps him and the big guy runs straight through the ropes to the floor.
And now it’s time for the Sabu Stunt Spectacular, as with the good Lord as my witness and I am NOT making this up, the following happens: Sabu runs Neidhart into the ring post, which somehow causes him to stumble around to the other side of the ring and land on a table. Like I don’t understand the physics of how one would lead to the other, but it’s a Sabu match and even in his heyday I found myself saying that a lot. With Jim laying on the table looking like the world’s plumpest Thanksgiving turkey, Sabu goes for a moonsault off the ropes but Neidhart slides out of the way and Sabu crashes and burns, with the table staying nice and firm the whole time. Whoops.
Neidhart picks him up for a slam and finds ANOTHER table and attempts to send Sabu through the table that way. No dice. He clobbers him in the stomach and still the table doesn’t move. Finally Neidhart picks Sabu up one more time, jumps in the air (like 2″ in the air, but work with me here), and finally gets the table to break. Yay?
At this point, you can kinda tell Neidhart wants to teach this young kid Sabu how to work. And thus he throws him back in the ring and puts him in a patented 1980s WWF rear chin lock for a good two minutes straight. Learn him up, Jim!
Sabu escapes that, and heads to the ring apron where Neidhart does some more clobbering to the chest. This causes Sabu to fall on another table, and this one collapses like a house of cards. This causes Anvil to throw his hands in the air, either in a celebratory gesture or in a WTF am I doing here one. I’ll let you decide.
So Sabu gets back in the ring again, and once more you can tell Neidhart is like SLOW DOWN KID and we get another patented rest hold, namely the bear hug. Why I can only picture a young AJ Styles watching this and thinking, “You know what would be a cool name for my finisher? STYLES CLASH.”
Finally deciding to show Sabu what a real high risk move is, Neidhart ascends the ropes and comes flying off with…whatever the heck that was. It kinda sorta looked like a frog splash. Next time your favorite wrestler does one of those and the commentators talk about how they’re doing it as a tribute to Eddie Guerrero, I want you to shake your head no and say “That’s Jim Neidhart right there” while stroking your imaginary goatee.
Sabu lands a slingshot over the top rope then sets up a chair inside the ring. Wackiness abounds but it’s all for naught as Neidhart continues to kick out of even the most lethal maneuvers.
With Neidhart prone on the mat, Sabu goes for a slingshot legdrop but the Anvil rolls out of the way. This allows him to take control of the match, picking up Sabu and laying him out with a powerbomb. Anvil goes for the cover, but decides to pick him up before the three count. Yes kids, Jim Neidhart had Sabu pinned but fell victim to the infamous mistake of “inflicting more punishment.” I was curious who the heel was here and now we know – it’s Neidhart because he just won’t let our misery end.
It all comes to a conclusion as Neidhart goes for another powerbomb and Sabu I guess rolls through and gets the pin? Eh, whatever the match is over and that’s all that matters. I should also note this card featured Junkyard Dog vs. The Iron Sheik…in 1995. This would have been years after Dog’s horrible WCW run and Sheik’s atrocious stint as Col. Mustafa. All I can say is don’t expect that one anytime soon. Even I have my limits!