File this one under guilty pleasures: I love love LOVES me some ODB. Her character is great, and the fact that she drives around in a food truck when she’s not wrestling endears me to her evermore. I’ve not covered her much on the site, but anytime I see her I always want to watch and such was the case when she was running around in TNA with Cody Deaner. This guy was another one of those wrestling stereotypes I love so much, call it the clueless redneck. Not sure if it was due to where I was brought up in southern Indiana, but suffice to say I am no stranger to guys exactly (and I mean EXACTLY) like him.
These two were a unit for several months in TNA back in 2009. At the time, Deaner was her manager/boy toy/lap dog and he was always by her side. In fact, he was there as her tag team partner against the Beautiful People where the Angelina Love’s Knockouts title was on the line…and he just so happened to get the pin in the match to give his team the win.
Just one problem – since he got the win, he thought HE should be the Knockouts champion…this despite the fact it was the company’s women’s title!
The Deaner of course was oblivious to this fact, and took on the moniker “King of the Knockouts”. Not only that, but had also developed a KO punch that could put down any opponent. In fact, according to the man himself, he had knocked out both Mike Tyson AND Chuck Norris with his mighty hamhocks. “I read it on the internet,” noted Taz on commentary, “so it must be true!”
ODB was livid at this, and demanded a shot at No Surrender for the “Knocked Up” championship. Have I ever mentioned how much I love this woman?
So we head to the ring and Mike Tenay tells us we’re going to take a look at the tale of the tape. Apparently in TNA, that means to simply display a blank screen. This company isn’t quite WCW 2000, but it’s close.
ODB comes to the ring and stops to greet her fans…one of whom quite literally grabs her boob. You see, some wrestling fans have always been creeps. That’s not just something that started last weekend you know!
The match starts and Deaner attempts to intimidate ODB by showing her his King of the Knockouts t-shirt. She counters that by grabbing it and flossing her nether regions with it. Undeterred Cody turns his hat around, which ODB promptly rips off his head and does the same with that too. “It’s Sunday night in the double wide!” exclaims Taz’s co-hort Mike Tenay.
Deaner misses with a giant knife edge chop. And thank goodness as had it connected per Taz, “That might have been an explosion – we might have had a flood in the Impact Zone!”
Deaner turns the tide, then decides to give ODB a shot below the belt. Tenay: “She was going for the, what do you call it, the yambag?” Taz: “Just one problem – she ain’t got one!” The commentary on this is so incredible I almost feel bad inducting it!
Even more so after ODB decides to go to the top rope and jumps (well, more falls) to the floor to takes out the Deaner. That can’t be good for this poor girl’s knees. (Egads, I sound more like one of those nerds becoming their parents from those Progressive insurance commercials every day.)
Deaner is somehow able to turn the tide, hitting her with a body slam. That only gets two, and Cody sure ain’t happy with the count. He starts to berate the ref, which I am sure will lead to a much faster count next time!
With things now under control, Deaner steals ODB’s flask and takes a swig. A swig of air, I think. He then grabs his boobs ala ODB goes flying through the air, only to be caught in, and I am quoting Taz here, “the old YAMBAG CLUTCH!”
ODB hits Deaner with one of her signature moves, the Dirty Dozen. This would be an offensive attack where she takes her foe’s head and rams it between her legs twelve times. I should note that prior to her landing this blow, Tenay bellowed “Here she comes!” which prompted Taz to reply, “I sure hope not!” I demand that effective immediately, every match has Taz on commentary. Better yet, he needs to go back and rerecord new commentary for every match in wrestling history.
Seriously, be honest – how much would YOU pay to have Taz do new play by play of say Heroes of Wrestling?
Back to our match, Deaner is getting more and more upset with the ref, so much so that he stick his finger in his mouth and gets it nice and wet before planting it right in his chest. Legit thought he was going to give him a wet willy there!
Finally Deaner hits his big KO punch…and sure enough ODB falls flat to the mat. Unlike wimps such as Tyson and Chuck Norris, she is able to regain her feet and continue to fight. Now that Chuck is gone, maybe we could just redo all those old memes with ODB instead.
Deaner goes to the top and launches towards ODB but misses by a country mile. This allows her to hit a TKO which gets her the three count and also the Knockouts title.
After the match, she tells us that while she may not like “half these broads in the back”, they all worked hard for that title. She then thanks the TNA fans all over the world. Also all her fans in prison! It’s a crying shame this woman never made it to the biggest stage – ain’t nobody like ODB!