The legendary Miss Elizabeth was the first crush for many wrestling fans. She was of course best known for he late 1980’s run in the WWF as “Macho Man” Randy Savage’s manager, doing little more than standing outside the ring and looking, well, “lovely”. But did you know she actually WRESTLED as well? And not just once, but multiple times? Let’s dive into the era few remember, and those that do wish they didn’t: Miss Elizabeth’s run as a Pro Wrestler!
These Flair-Steamboat level classics took place during the dying days of WCW, and it happened during a time when she was paired with Lex Luger (whom she would wind up with in real life as well) who had an exclusive contract with her. Further, this was in the very early era of Vince Russo in the company, when only his voice would make appearances and would never show his face. The idea was that he was “the powers that be” (or maybe it was “the powers TO be”, as it changed constantly) and he wanted things that folks would tune into see. And Luger was going to give him something no one had ever seen – Miss Elizabeth in the ring as an active wrestler. Dr. Claw loved the idea of course, as he was only concerned with one thing – RATINGS. (Hopefully he meant television ratings, and not Dave Meltzer star ratings).
Breaching an age old pro wrestling trope (ie, no one ever sees anything else that is happening backstage on the wrestling show they are also on), Liz witnessed Luger’s behind the scenes treachery. And she completely freaked out as her opponent was going to be none other than the monster MENG.
Yes, Meng. You know, King Haku? That would be the same guy Jake Roberts had this to say about: ““If I had a gun and was sitting inside a tank with one shell left and Meng is 300 yards away, he’s mine, right? Well, the first thing I’m going to do is jump out of the tank and shoot myself because I don’t want to wound that son of a b**** and have him pissed off at me.”
So Liz did the thing that any sane person would do in that situation – she locked herself in a cage.
Not a joke – that’s exactly what she did!
Lex swings past her and explains that you know what, by golly, I just lost my cool and shouldn’t have done that. He convinces Liz to give him the key so they can get her out of the cage and thus out of this mess and go home. Liz, being stupid, believes him and gives him the key and he immediately walks off with her left inside the cage. Girl, you already HAD the key. Why would you need to give it to Lex anyway?
Various wrestlers witness her there, when lo and behold here comes the Stinger who just so happened to be feuding with Luger at the time! Liz pleads with Sting, but he explains that she made her cage and now she has to lay in it. I should note this valiant remark was made by the number one or two babyface in the company at the time.
Being in her cage wasn’t going to keep the match from happening of course. I love Lex helpfully guiding the forklift operator who deposits Liz, cage and all, inside the ring.
With the match started, Meng attempts to break the cage apart with his bare hands. Before you say that was idiotic, I’d ask you to hear what Bobby Heenan had to say about the guy: ““Meng is the toughest man — not just wrestler — I’ve ever met in my life. A fight once broke out in a bar, and Meng took his two fingers on his right hand, his index finger and trigger finger, and he reached into the guy’s mouth, and he broke off the guy’s bottom teeth. If I hadn’t been there and seen it himself, I wouldn’t believe it.”
At this point, Lex hops in and offers the keys to Meng as a goodwill gesture. That goes about as well as you’d expect. Maybe he didn’t care for Lex dangling the keys in front of him like he’s teasing a dog with a chew toy. Watch your teeth, Lex!
Sting eventually enters the ring and starts beating on Meng with a baseball bat, finally dropping him to the canvas.
He picks up the keys and unlocks the cage to let Liz out. She runs for the hills as well she should. I can’t imagine that Meng would be too happy he wasn’t going to the pay window as he went to a NO CONTEST with her!
The following week Lex would return and read Liz the riot act for making a fool of him and leaving with Sting last week. Liz pleads with him and his giant silver suit that she will do anything to make things right with him.
Lex of course takes that “anything” and runs right to Russo and tells him that he has a match for him tonight that will draw monster ratings: Elizabeth vs. Rhonda Singh in a mud match! Russo then ups the ante on the match by giving it a special referee in the form of…
…”Rowdy” Roddy Piper! You can say a lot of things about Russo’s booking of WCW, but BORING would never qualify. Idiotic possibly, but boring never.
Rhonda comes out first, and immediately she gets into it with Piper, tossing him in the mud. He backs off, urging her to calm down. She responds by paintbrushing him right across the face. Going out on a limb and guessing this won’t turn out well for her.
And sure enough I’m proven right, as Hot Rod takes her down with a drop toe hold then starts riding her like a pony! That there is a scene that absolutely would not fly today. He also tosses both Harris twins in the mud for good measure as well.
All of this leads to Rhonda pinning one of the brothers I guess for the win. Yes kids, a match between Rhonda Singh and Elizabeth ended with Rhonda pinning Ron Harris. At this point I simply refer to this New York Times article where my good friend Vince Russo had this to say about writing a wrestling show: “There is one word that we start and end every conversation with: logic. Once you lose the logic of the situation, then you lose the realism and you lose the audience.” Seriously, how can anyone hate this man?
But if you think that Liz was getting out of being in the mud, no chance, as Lex brings her out over his shoulders. He lifts her high in the air, and threatens tossing her into the stratosphere before very gently laying her in that gloppy mess. What a gentleman!
Once more Sting comes to the rescue, knocking Luger into the mud as well. At this point it becomes less a wrestling show and more a Three Stooges short with Lex taking multiple comical pratfalls. If you ever want to be truly entertained, I urge you to start watching 1999 Lex Luger’s run as the world’s most jacked buffoon. It sounds like it could never work, but it may be my favorite Lex role ever as he just leans into it with every ounce of his massive being.
Liz eventually gets out of the pit and looks to nearly break her back on a very nasty fall. Egads that looked incredibly painful. Still, if you think these first two matches were crap, we’re just getting started…tune in next week as we get part two of Miss Elizabeth – Pro Wrestler!