King Of The Road Match

King Of The Road Match

The only thing worse than a bad match is a bad gimmick match. The only thing worse than a bad gimmick match is a bad gimmick match featuring guys with ummm…bad gimmicks.

Care to guess why this match is here?

In 1995, the brains at WCW decided to have a Pay Per View that featured ALL gimmick matches. And while the entire card sucked (we’ll be featuring more matches later), none of the contests were as awful as this one. A pre-Goldust Dustin Rhodes had been feuding with a guy by the name of the Blacktop Bully, whom you might know better as Barry Darsow, aka Demolition Smash aka The Repo Man. I’d explain more about the Bully, but since we are planning a page on him later, I’ll just go straight to the match.

It took place on the back of an 18-wheeler. A MOVING 18-wheeler. The object was to blow a horn.

Sound stupid? Well, of course it was – that’s why it’s here! Let’s let Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan tell you all about this exciting contest.

The truck crawled along the back roads of Mississippi as Rhodes and Darsow attempted to fight on it. And while the truck wasn’t moving anywhere near the 55 MPH “The Brain” claimed it was, it was obvious the guys were having all kinds of trouble moving around on it.

The bulk of the match consisted of Dustin and Bully hitting each other with vicious foreign objects like posts and bales of hay. Yes, BALES OF HAY! Eventually, Bully was able to rake Dusin’s eyes (but not with an actual rake, that may have been too exciting) and allow him to honk the horn. Yes, an EYE RAKE was the finish. Yikes.

Since they obviously couldn’t have the match live, it was taped beforehand, and edited. Badly. Watch the thing on WCW’s Uncensored video, and you’ll see it turn from day to night during the match! Very odd. Even more odd was the fact that it did it more than once! I guess they must have fought for several days.

It sure as hell felt like it.

There was actually a big repercussion coming out of the match. Apparently, during the match, Dustin did a blade job. This infuriated Turner officials, who then FIRED Dustin. Dustin then headed to the WWF, and Vince McMahon came up with the Goldust character.

And you thought fighting on the back of a truck was bad.

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