Jacob & Eli Blu

Jacob & Eli Blu

You know, don’t even bother reading this entry into WrestleCrap. It’s going to be terrible, as the duo known as Jacob & Eli Blu just kinda generically sucked. They didn’t suck in a funny way (like the Shockmaster) or in a memorable way (like the Gobbeldy Gooker). They would simply wander down to the ring in their silly little Appalachian mountain men outfits and proceeded to bore the crowds to tears with their terminally dull offense and personalities.

So, like I said, go ahead, leave this page be. There’s nothing I can write that will really entertain you. In fact, in place of reading this, I urge you to head down to your local Blockbuster and track down a pair of brothers that actually were entertaining, that being The Blues Brothers. And just so you don’t accidently pick up a Blu Brothers match instead of the Blues Brothers movie, I’ve made up a handy dandy chart comparing and contrasting the two tandems.

Known as Jacob & Eli

Composed of worthless wrestlers Ron & Don Harris

Starred in the WWF during one of its worst periods

Were in horrible matches featuring other pathetic workers like Men on a Mission and the Godwinns

Blus went on to star in Vince Russo’s “Ratings Busters” (aka WCW 2000)

Were on a mission from Uncle Zebekiah

Known as Jake & Elwood

Composed of talented comedians John Belushi and Dan Akroyd

Starred on Saturday Night Live during one of its greatest periods

Were in a great movie starring other celebs like James Brown, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, and Cab Calloway

Akroyd went on to star in Ivan Reitman’s “Ghostbusters”

Were on a mission from God

About the only other thing to add is that Uncle Zebekiah was played by veteran journeyman (and Heroes of Wrestling announcer) Dutch Mantell. For the part, Dutch was instructed to dress up like a mountaineer himself…so he pretty much dressed like Dutch Mantell. He did twirl his moustache and beard a lot, though, just so us dumb marks would realize that he was evil.

And that’s about it. Jacob and Eli were later repackaged as the Grimm Twinns, complete with their heads shaved bald. After that they were members of DOA (Disciples of Apocolypse), and engaged in the legendary Gang Wars feud of 97 in which the motorcycle riding white guys beat up the blacks and the Puerto Ricans. That was nice (and boring and completely racist). And after that failed, they went to WCW and became, at one point or another, the Harris Twins, Creative Control, and a bunch of other horrible gimmicks that didn’t get over.

And at some point one of the brothers had plastic surgery and his nipple was off center or something. I don’t really remember all the details, nor do I care.

Shocking, though, isn’t it, that Vince Russo never turned THAT into an angle.

Discuss This Crap!