I recently did a guest spot on a podcast called Zeroes of Wrestling which chronicles horrible matches in pro wrestling history. As part of the prep for the show, Gavin sent me a list of a bunch of different matches we could discuss, some of which I remembered well (Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy), some I had vague recollections of (Sid vs. Diesel). But there was one bout I had zero memory of, namely the one we will be talking about here today.
This one features good ol’ “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan in the babyface role. By the time he’d gotten to WCW, he had his whole schtick down, waving the flag, 2×4 in hand, as the yokels bellowed out USA! USA! on his command. Everyone loved him.
In this here encounter at Great American Bash 1995, his opponent would be “Pitbull” Craig Pittman, a tough guy marine with a take no quarter and give even less attitude. While he is likely unknown by the vast majority of folks reading this, Pittman was a staple on countless WCW Saturday Nights. So I guess at some level it makes sense he would wind up on a WCW PPV.
Pittman was despised by this crowd every much as Duggan was beloved. Despite serving his country, these folks couldn’t wait to tear into the former Marine, with a tubby Hulk Hogan look alike having the temerity of bringing a GOMER sign to the ring. See, because Pittman was a marine, just like Gomer Pyle!
Good Lord, I did not expect to have “explain Gomer Pyle to the 99.9999999999999% of people who have no idea what that is” on my to do list this morning. Eh, just watch the above clip, it will do a far better job than I can of summarizing the character.
Let’s get to this match, because there’s a lot to unpack here. Much like the clip above, you get the feeling that one guy (Pittman) was there to be 100% serious, while the other (Duggan) was there to smile and have a good time. Seriously, even in the opening seconds Duggan is pulling the ref in front of him almost looking for some way to get the Pitbull calmed down a bit.
So they lock up and we get, no joke, Duggan looking to reverse his way out of a waistlock. And by golly he eventually does! This leads to Duggan playing to the crowd while Pittman starts doing pushups in the middle of the ring, stopping before Hacksaw punts him in the boiler.
And you can already tell Hacksaw isn’t quite sure what to do with the guy before deciding to lock up once more and let Pittman get a bit of heat with an arm wringer or two. This wears Duggan down a bit, attempting to regain his breath on one knee.
Seeing weakness, Pittman comes a runnin’, looking for a clothesline but instead launching himself over the top rope in a completely absurd bump. Somewhere I can hear a fifteen year old Excalibur yelling “TOPE SUICIDA!” for the very first time. Duggan leads the crowd in a USA chant, but I have to ask…shouldn’t that also inspire Pittman? He served this country for crying outloud!
Now infuriated, Pittman straddles Duggan under the bottom rope and starts tearing at Hacksaw’s knee pad. Like he looks completely out of his ever loving mind and I don’t mean in a wacky pro wrestling manner. I promise you that Duggan had no idea coming into this match that he was about to lose one of his fancy custom knee pads, especially in a completely meaningless spot like this one.
Pittman continues the onslaught as he tackles Duggan and the two quite literally roll around the mat before the marine settles in on some kind of weird leglock, complete with one hand right in Hacksaw’s junk.
By now, I think Duggan figured out this wasn’t going to be an easy night, so he tears at Pittman’s shirt, quite literally ripping it in half. A battle of fisticuffs follows, with Pittman throwing some old fashioned haymakers before Duggan lunges with a Superman punch from one knee!
At this point Duggan stops what he’s doing and stares at the camera with a look “WHAT IN THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?” on his face. JimDugganShattersthe4thWall.com, I bet that URL’s not taken!
Duggan rakes the eyes in a vain attempt at getting things back under control, as Pittman responds by shoving him down to the mat. A spinning toe hold follows, but before we get a possible figure four, Duggan kicks Pittman all the way out of the ring in another preposterous bump.
Duggan throws lefts and rights before ripping Pittman’s tank top completely off his torso. He attempts a body slam, but it’s more just picking the guy up and dropping him. Hacksaw follows that up with a mighty clothesline. Now you may be thinking, “Wasn’t that Duggan’s finisher?” The answer to that is no, Hacksaw’s finisher was a clothesline from a three point stance.
And he DOES hit that finisher next…which Pittman promptly and completely NO SELLS! Instead of laying down and counting the lights, Pittman grabs Duggan’s arm and shoves his elbow right in Hacksaw’s face.
Pittman goes for his own finisher, the Code Red, but Hacksaw makes the ropes. You’d think that would cause a rope break and the match continues, but that does not happen, as the ref instead just rings the bell. Sadly, my new favorite horrible match comes to an abrupt end, but not before the camera does an extreme closeup of Duggan’s teeth for whatever reason.
We leave with Hacksaw staring directly at the folks at home, almost as if he’s telling us silently, “Yeah, I got no idea what that was either.” HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!