I feel like I’ve written this induction before.
Let’s see, guy hanging out in the Everglades who fights alligators. Somehow, this is to impress us as wrestling fans. It doesn’t, and in fact, it fails miserably. Now let’s just cue up some Jerry Reed…and…we’re out.
Easiest induction I’ve ever done.
But it wouldn’t be fair to end things there, so we won’t. Wouldn’t be fair to you, and oddly enough, it wouldn’t be fair to Scott Hall, known to “Gator” to his friends. How could I shortchange a man who has meant as much to his community? I have no doubt I speak for countless millions when I say, “thank you, Scott Hall, for attempting to resolve St. Paul’s long-standing ALLIGATOR ISSUE.”
Before you email me, yes, this Scott Hall would be the same Scott Hall you know and love, he of Razor Ramon and Outsiders fame. While many have knocked him over the years for his problems outside the ring, only a fool would state that in his prime he was one of the most entertaining guys around. In fact, I still laugh outloud just thinking about his antics in WCW, specifically his feud with the Giant where he would act like there was an earthquake mid-ring as the big guy wound stomp around. (And if you really want some fun, just do a YouTube search for “Giant Scott Hall water”. You’d think the poor guy was drowning in that 3′ pool.)
But before he became Razor, before he was an Outsider, heck, before he was “Gator”, he had a handful of gimmicks so awful you wonder why he even stuck around in this stupid business.
For instance, at one point he was “Magnum” Scott Hall. Now make no mistake about it – he did in fact have a killer perm.
And that moustache? From “The 10 Wrestler Looks that Immediately Need to Make a Comeback”, courtesy of The WrestleCrap Book of Lists!:
“1. Scott Hall’s 1970’s Porn Star Look, circa 1987: With his macho good looks and six-foot-six frame, it’s no wonder Scott Hall was a promoter’s dream during the early 1990s. It came as little shock that he became a huge star for the WWF in 1992 as Razor Ramon, Cuban bad guy, complete with slicked-back hair and toothpick hanging from his lips. This was a far cry from Hall’s original look, which resembled a 1970s adult film star. With his bushy hair and magnificient pornstache, Hall could have easily doubled for a muscle-bound John Holmes. Or, for that matter, the Brawny Man (the old one, not the wimpy new guy). In fact, we urge Hall to file a lawsuit against the makers of Brawny for so blatantly ripping him off.”
Still I doubt that the world was really in need of TWO Magnum PI wannabes in wrestling. Although it surely beat the bejeebers out of his other early character: Starship Coyote.
I have no idea what a Starship Coyote is, but I can just imagine…
Did I mention his partner, Dan Spivey, was Starship Eagle?
Sadly, a Google image search for “Sam Eagle Astronaut” yielded no similarly nutty results.
Now sure, I could spend the rest of this column talking about Hall’s wacky looks. And a part of me really wants to. But another part of me worries about the part of me that wants to keep posting pictures of Scott Hall looking like, well, THAT.
So let’s focus our energies on “Gator” Scott Hall, who terrorized smiled in WCW rings in the early 1990s.
Now you’d fully expect a guy with the monicker of “Gator” to tackle those nasty swamp beasts.
Sho’ ’nuff, WCW didn’t let us down, as we got introductory vignettes of “Gator” poking alligators with sticks.
And poke them he did.
Over…
…and over…
…and over again.
After about the third shot of this, you kinda had to feel bad for that alligator.I mean, damn, dude…what did that poor thing ever do to you?
Indeed, by the time the thing jumped in the water, you were like, “Good for you, my scaley friend! Get the hell away from that Harry Reams lookin’ freak!”
So what happened to “Gator” Scott Hall, you ask? Well, he floundered in the midcard and vanished within weeks of his debut. If you ever wanted to know how horribly mismanaged WCW was back in the early 90’s, there’s your proof. I have often been criticized for overusing the term “a license to print money”, but today, you must forgive me for using it once more.
For if a Minnesota alligator slayer who looked like a paper towel shilling porn star wrestler isn’t one, I don’t know what is.