I don’t think anyone would deny that Dusty Rhodes was a phenomenal professional wrestler. You could argue whether he was better in the ring or on the mic, but I dare say no one would ever claim that he was a great high flyer, right? So if you’re questioning why we’re getting the American Dream in a ladder match, join the club. Oh and here’s another fun tidbit: big Dust was FIFTY-SEVEN YEARS OLD at the time of the match! Sound like a disaster? Sounds like TNA 2004 to me!
And yes, that’s where we got this, as Dusty is taking on Brian (Christopher) Lawler. No doubt you are questioning what belt that is hanging above the ring. Best I can tell, it was an old NWA world title belt Dusty had. I guess maybe Lawler stole it from his house or something? Don’t know, don’t ask, I ain’t researching it. And God bless Jerry’s kid, as he is doing his best, ping ponging all over the ring for the big guy. Like I don’t know the physics of how a horizontal chop would cause a person to bounce up and down like a pogo stick, but that’s what we get here. Gotta love Dusty’s punch being so powerful it sent Lawler flying over the top like a flipped coin!
Eventually big Dust goes outside the ring as well, and Lawler takes over, grabbing a ladder in the process and slamming it into Rhodes’ face. Being the veteran he is, Dusty checks to make sure he is gushing blood at this point. Amazingly he’s not – I would have thought at this point in his life a slight breeze would have opened up his forehead.
Brian sets up a ladder at a wacky angle so he as to slam Dusty into it…and magically, after disappearing under the announcer’s table for a few seconds, THERE’S THE BLOOD! Whodathunkit?
Dusty slowly comes up from the ringside depths in a classic Godzilla shot. We don’t see that of course and instead get a zoomed in shot of the referee’s shoes in a classic TNA shot. I absolutely love this company.
So Brian climbs up the ladder to retrieve the belt. Now usually in pro wrestling, the guy climbing the ladder does so veeerrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy slllllllllloooooooooowwwwwwwllly so as to build suspense. Credit Brian here, as he adds to the suspense by wiggling the ladder as if it’s going to collapse at any second. Or who knows, maybe the crack TNA production crew bought a second hand ladder from the local Goodwill and it really was that flimsy.
Dusty takes back over, popping Lawler repeatedly and building up to a flip flop fly. He then hikes up his drawers for good measure before heading outside to get a ladder of his own:
A STEP LADDER! Dusty scales said ladder, eventually reaching the top and jumping falling off to hit his opponent with a giant flying elbow. Won’t lie, that made me laugh.
With his opponent down, Dusty actually does go to the big ladder to retrieve the belt. Unfortunately he doesn’t even make it up two rungs before Brian clocks him right in the Sapphires.
This allows Brian to scale to the top, in perfect position to grab the belt and win the match. Instead he decides to do a legdrop off the world’s most rickety ladder. He misses of course and mouths F*****!!!! That’s a pro’s pro, not yelling profanity! Dusty is able to waddle back to his feet, stopping to adjust his pants again. Were his paydays in this company so terrible he couldn’t afford a belt?
Ok, Brian down again, Dusty attempts to scale once more and gets attacked by, with the good Lord above as my witness and I am NOT making this up, DAVID FLAIR. Show of hands, who knew there was a David Flair run in TNA? How is this the first I’ve learned about it? What other insanity did I miss when I wasn’t watching this show?
And just when it looks like David is about grab the belt, out comes a man with a beanie covering his face…
…who (more or less) unmasks and reveals himself to be NIKITA KOLOFF. Yes kids, in the year of our Lord 2004, there was a ladder match pitting Grandmaster Sexay against Dusty Rhodes, one won by Nikita Koloff who thwarted a run-in by David Flair. This was something that actually happened. There’s your evidence right there. I don’t know what my emotions should be watching this, but I’m guessing ‘uncontrolled laughter’ wasn’t the company’s goal.
And then Nikita hands Dusty the belt and gives him a big rooskie hug. Awwwww. Yes kids, the SUPERPOWERS have reunited and all is right with the world. I think it’s high time I started digging into more 2004 TNA – it’s apparently a treasure trove of WrestleCrap!