In 2008, ex-NBA player Dennis Rodman crawled out of the sewers of obscurity when he signed with Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling and won the whole thing. Now while you might think this was a milestone victory, keep in mind that his competition consisted of other such “celebrities” Todd “You Call Me Willis One More Time and I’ll Pop a Cap In Your Cracka Ass” Bridges, dirty sanchez mark Dustin “Screech” Diamond, a guy who is famous for being Sylvester Stallone’s brother and 80s pop sensation “Not Debbie Gibson“. Alas, most people in the know called shenanigans on the winner of the CCW belt because Rodman is as much a stranger to the wrestling world as Oprah is to the local Krispy Kreme.
While a notable and undeniably talented basketball player, Rodman became a household name in the mid and late 90s more for his off the court antics than his on the court skills. Promoting his autobiography, Bad As I Wanna Be, in a pure white wedding dress and makeup and taking Carmen Electra, while intoxicated, as his lawfully wedded wife in a 10 day marriage.
So yes, Rodman, while a goof, was a hot ticket back in the day.
Therefore, it was little wonder that Eric Bischoff, seeing how Mike Tyson’s appearances in the WWF did wonders for Wrestlemania XIV a huge boost in publicity and buyrates decided to bring in Rodman to generate that same publicity and hopefully have some huge receipts to pay it off.
He wrestled twice for WCW at Bash at the Beach ‘97 and ‘98, both times teaming with his friend and fellow nWo member, Hulk Hogan, in tag team matches. It worked. Both events got enormous publicity. However, Rodman was a no-show for the Monday Nitro before his PPV appearance at Bash at the Beach ’98. He topped this off by showing up at the PPV in no condition to perform and did absolutely nothing in the match except fall asleep while Hulk Hogan did all the work.
Read that last sentence again. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds. Not only that, but following this incident, Rodzilla then had the balls to SUE WCW for $550,000. Why? Probably because Rodman knew that this being WCW, they would collapse like a house of cards and give into his every demand.
And right he was – WCW promptly settled this lawsuit by offering Rodman a NEW CONTRACT WITH 5 MORE DATES.
Rodman thanked WCW for their generosity by no-showing at his first scheduled Nitro.
About this time, “Macho Man” Randy Savage had just returned to WCW after a long recuperation from a knee injury with a new valet, a stripper named Stephanie Bellors who was renamed Gorgeous George. The pair had been involved in a lovely domestic abuse storyline with GG sporting not one but two black eyes. That or she just fell for the old shoe polish in the binoculars gag.
The brass at TNT were furious with this storyline. WCW responded to Turner brass’ concern by putting George in a storyline rape angle, with her rapist being none other than “The Worm” Dennis Rodman.
Eh, it’s WCW. What did you expect?
The angle began during a Monday Nitro match between Prince Iaukea and Lash LaRue. I wouldn’t even mention this match, but I felt I should mention that the announce crew consisted of Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan, and Jason Hervey.
Yes, JASON HERVEY, the guy that continually called his kid brother “Scrote” on The Wonder Years.
Now while Jason had a wrestling “background” (namely being Eric Bischoff’s pal and notch #45 on Missy Hyatt’s bed post), his announcing skills made one wistful for the innocent inquisitive nature of Art Donovan.
So anyways, Randy Savage shows up out of nowhere with Gorgeous George in tow, and proceeds to obliterate Lash and the artist previously known as the artist formerly known as Prince Iaukea.
Why did he do this? Don’t know. Maybe he was just pissed off at listening to Jason Hervey.
Can’t blame him for that.
Savage gets on the mic and threatens Nash, Hogan and Rodman and proclaims that he’s running for President.
You remember when Hulk Hogan was running for President, right? No?
God bless you for leading a more fulfilling life than me.
Savage is then confronted by his former co-horts, Madusa and Miss Mona Madness (WWF/E’s Molly Holly). Madusa says her enormous fake breasts want to sign a match with Gorgeous George’s.
I kid, I kid.
No no – Ducey blames George for the breakup of Team Madness. Because, I guess, some people would care about such things.
I’m thinking my storyline about the battling silicone bra buddies is a better one.
Madusa and Mona ever so slowly back George right up into Dennis Rodman.
Ever notice how no one ever bothers looking behind them while walking backwards instead of just TURNING AROUND AND RUNNING AWAY?
I (HEART) WRESTLING~!
As Rodman drags her away, Gorgeous George keeps screeching, “Macho!! Help meeee!”
I do believe, in fact GG thinks his first name is “Macho” and his last name is “Man” because that‘s how he introduced himself to her. I’d make fun of her for this, but let’s face it – would you rather hang out with a guy with a last name of “Man” or a last name of “Savage”?
Rodman takes off with George out of the building, looking like they are about to elope.
Oh no, not AGAIN, Dennis!!
“This show just keeps getting better, that was cool”, says Hervey.
COOL, he says!
I find myself wishing and hoping that my fellow New Yorker Paul Heyman will crack Jason on the head with his brick Zack Morris 1988 cellphone again like he did in 1991 (there‘s a slice of old school WCW I enjoy repeatedly, “back and to the left, back and to the left“).
Later on, Savage is backstage looking for Rodman and GG. GG runs to his arms screeching (seriously I can’t tell what she’s saying) something about a trailer.
Savage does what any loving boyfriend would do in his girlfriend’s time of need and support: pushes her away and goes to kill Rodman.
Jason Hervey displays his sensitivity for this woman’s plight by quipping, “I guess Rodman‘s done.”
Anyone have the 1999 Observer Awards handy? Just curious if Hervey won “Announcer of the Year.”
Scott Hudson says Rodman “took control” of GG, while Doug Dillinger and security hold Savage back from entering Rodman’s trailer.
Anyone wanna call the POLICE, er anything?
Savage comes out the following Nitro and when Mean Gene asks where GG is doing and how is she, Randy responds by saying she‘s “under lock and key“.
Not sure if anyone clued George in, but when Randy Savage says his girlfriend is under lock and key, I believe he means that literally.
I hope for her sake he poked some air holes in there so she can breathe, otherwise it’s gonna be like finding a dead stripper in your bachelor party cake (we’ve all been in that situation).
Miss Mona Madness comes out and asks Macho Man to take her and Madusa back because they’re loyal to him and they make a great team.
Randy considers this by forcing Mona to her knees and tells her to BEG to take her back. I’m confused. Is Macho Man supposed to be the baby face? I’m getting mixed signals here.
This brings out Rodman and his cronies (who WCW was also throwing a ton of money at for just being there). He makes references to his rape of George, which results in the audience cheering him.
Thanks to the audience for helping me figure out that Randy Savage was, in fact, the heel in this angle.
That or this audience was just a bunch of in-bred hicks.
While Macho Man is distracted by Rodman’s rape euphamisms, Mona takes the opportunity to give Savage a punch to the groin while the audience cheers some more. The impression I’m getting here is that Savage’s man-handling of Mona is considered worse than Rodman’s “taking control” of George.
Or vice versa.
I dunno, this is friggin’ dumb.
Finally, WCW comes to their senses and Rodman is carted off to jail and brought up on rape charges.
Pffft, who am I kidding? Felony crimes aren’t settled in the court room, they’re settled in the wrestling ring like God intended.
This culminates in Rodman’s first and only singles match in WCW, at Road Wild ‘99, the most notable portion being Rodman thrown into porta potty and tipped over….halfway.
“That’s one for the all-time books”, says Tony Schiavone.
Yes, right under Joe DiMaggio’s 56 base hit streak and Wilt Chamberlain‘s 100 point game, “Dennis Rodman tipped over in a porta potty by a batshit insane ex-WWF wrestler in a rage because his best days are long gone and his girlfriend was raped by Rodman in a moronic storyline wrestling angle”.
Alas, Rodman’s rapist angle did nothing for him professionally, as he was gone from WCW soon after, as were Randy Savage and Gorgeous George.
Rape isn’t funny. It just isn’t. It’s never happened to me and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But I feel as if WE the viewing public, the wrestling fans that pay our hard-earned money for the tickets, merchandise and PPVs have been raped by this abomination of an angle. When asking a friend of mine, “how could they do something as stupid as this They let go guys like Chris Jericho and Dean Malenko to do stuff like THIS?”, his simple response that we’ve used on many occasions was “It’s WCW”.