Camacho

This past Saturday, those who remembered there was a PPV in the afternoon saw Tanga Loa return to WWE to help out his brother Tama Tonga.

It seems The Rock has been recruiting willy-nilly, adding Bloodline members who aren’t even related to Roman Reigns (such as The Rock).

But at least Haku’s son, real name Tevita Tu’amoeloa Fetaiakimoeata Fifita, isn’t being passed off as, say, Mexican

…as he was during his first run with the company as “Camacho”.

At first, Fifita wrestled in FCW, where he was clearly presented as a Pacific Islander: He hailed from Hawai’i, used the Headshrinkers’ old music…

…and was named… Donny Marlow? Sure, whatever.

But at the end of 2011, WWE abruptly called Marlow up to the WWE main roster as Hunico’s sidekick, whom he’d once rescued by biting a gangster’s eyeball out. Frankly, that sounds like something Haku would do.

Fifita was renamed Camacho and billed as Mexican…

…when in reality, his dad was so Tongan that his first name was literally “Tonga”.

I’m gonna go out out on a limb and say his mom, born Dorothy Koloamatangi, wasn’t Mexican, either.

Camacho dressed like Hunico, acted like Hunico, and occasionally tried to talk like Hunico.

His Spanish was rough—his first two words in the language were supposed to be “Simón ese”, Mexican slang for “Yeah, dude!”

Instead, it came out, “Simón este”, or, “Simon this”.

Camacho’s persona was as shallow as could be: Mexican street tough. That’s it.

And since Camacho couldn’t speak more than four words of Spanish (Simón, ese, la familia), the less WWE let him talk, the better.

Supposedly growing up on the mean streets of Juárez, Tevita FIfita actually grew up in suburban Orlando, and the biggest hardship he faced was his dad taking “got your nose” way too seriously.

Camacho’s signature was his low-rider bike, which he rode to the ring before each match. And “rode” isn’t even the right word; the guy just sat on his bike and waddled to the ring.

Jeez, even Cora Jade took her feet off the ground occasionally.

All in all, Camacho served no purpose but to be a clone of Hunico he could tag with. Hunico certainly didn’t need him for transportation.

So when the real Hunico had to be the fake Sin Cara again, Camacho got bumped down to developmental again…

…where his highlights included being pinned by Big E three times in one segment…

…and showing off his accent, holmes.

He also picked up three new words for “boss”, one of which was “Patreon”, which didn’t count.

By 2014, Camacho had accomplished nothing in NXT aside from dropping his Mexican accent (most notably in the sentence, “Life is not about party rocking”).

Over the next decade, the former Camacho would wrestle mainly in Japan, besides a brief stint in his native Mexico.

Now back in WWE, this world-traveled luchador looks to make the Bloodline the dominant force in wrestling once again. But do his allegiances lie with the Tribal Jefe

…or with the Final Patreon?

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