This past Wednesday, Becky Lynch made history on Celebrity Jeopardy!, putting in, by some metrics, the worst performance in the show’s 39-year history.
So it’s time to make some WrestleCrap history with one of the quickest turn-around times in the site’s own 23-year history. And before anyone complains in the comments about this induction violating the “calendar year” rule, let me explain:
And if you’re still not satisfied, I’ll elaborate: It’s not like this episode is going to get any better with age or develop into some great storyline or angle. It’s Becky Lynch on a game show. And she sucked.
(If anything, get mad at me for ignoring the Art Fleming era in referencing the show’s “39-year history”)
On November 15th, 2023 (in kayfabe), Becky Lynch went one-on-one-on-one with Rachel Dratch (whom long-time SNL viewers will recognize)…
…and Macaulay Culkin (whom everyone alive in the early 90s will recognize).
In the early going, Becky rings in to a TV clue and answers, “What is The Ozarks?” But since the show is actually called, “Ozark”, she gets it wrong.
Well, that’s an easy mistake to make. Unfortunately for Becky Lynch, it’s the closest she’ll get to a right answer for about half an hour.
Not only does Becky not get any of the first 15 questions right, she only attempts to buzz in one other time.
I know. I went back and counted.
During the mid-round break, Becky jokingly blames her poor performance on the quiet audience.
But Becky is just picking her spots. Once she knows an answer, she’ll be all over it. Like this clue in the category, “Rain”:
“What is skidding?” says Becky.
“Can you be more specific?”, asks the host.
“What is skid-DING?”
But to be fair, not everyone knows the word, “hydroplaning” — only those who took Driver’s Ed.
Just like not everyone knows the word, “specific”.
Becky had never heard the phrase, “circle back”, either, costing her three hundred dollars…
…but anyone with an office job knows that’s a fair trade.
So Becky finishes the first round $700 in the hole, having missed three questions…
…and maybe, possibly, potentially getting one right if she’d been quicker on the buzzer.
Just to put in perspective how bad Becky is at Jeopardy!, these aren’t even normal Jeopardy! clues, but Celebrity Jeopardy! clues.
Clues for people who haven’t passed any kind of try-outs.
Clues designed to keep celebrities from looking stupid on national TV. And Becky didn’t know any of them.
(When I played along at home, I got 23 of the first 30 questions right)
But being last pays off a little for Becky, who thus gets first pick in Double Jeopardy.
Her clue just happens to be about Sinéad O’Connor, but she doesn’t click in time. Hurts to miss that one!
The same thing happens later for the answers, “bicentennial”, “millennial”, “BLT”, and “Little Miss Muffet” — though we can’t be sure she would have gotten any of those right.
After failing to ring in on time, a frustrated Becky starts threatening her buzzer.
We later find out Becky would have gotten a Wendy’s answer correct, but she didn’t ring in.
“Well, maybe a WWE superstar should not be going to Wendy’s that much”, says host Ken Jennings.
It’s time to talk with the contestants again, and this time Becky blames her poor performance on the clicker, which she’s never practiced with. The trick is, you have to press the button down with your thumb, and do it more than 15% of the time.
Becky Lynch’s buzzer woes continue for the remainder of Double Jeopardy.
She tries in vain to ring in and identify this primatologist named, “Jane”. The correct answer, of course, is Jane from Tarzan.
Kidding! Or, to be more specific, kid-DING.
But at long last, Becky won’t be denied, successfully buzzing in to identify the kind of bar that kids can lift a car with.
“What is a crowbar?” says Becky. I should note that her buzzing in was successful, but her answer was not.
This brings her down to -$1700.
Becky lucks out when both Rachel and Macaulay get a cheerleading question wrong, but she presses her luck by offering her own answer.
It’s wrong too, and she drops to -$2500.
And so Becky finishes Double Jeopardy with zero right answers, supposedly the first contestant to ever pull off this feat.
On any ordinary episode of Jeopardy!, Becky would be sent home right now. But this is a one-hour special, which means she gets to try her hand at Triple Jeopardy.
At this rate, she’ll be down $7500 by the end of the night.
But then a miracle happens: Rachel Dratch’s cheerleading answer is ruled correct, meaning Becky’s subsequent wrong answer is stricken from the record.
It’s the new closest thing Becky has had to a correct answer all night, and now she’s back to a comfortable negative 1700.
With this boost in confidence, Becky gets on a roll, at least attempting to ring in for three consecutive questions.
Then Becky does the unthinkable: Ringing in for the category of butt synonyms, Becky guesses the right answer. Yes, it takes Becky 73 questions — longer than an entire standard game of Jeopardy!…
…and seemingly as long as it took Veer Mahaan to come to Raw —
— but she finally gets an answer right.
Her triumphant response: “What is ass?”
You can’t make this up.
Even more incredibly, she gets the very next answer, “What is Clueless?”. Again, you can’t make this up.
Becky then completes the trifecta, guessing Weird Al’s “I Lost On Jeopardy” to finally get above zero. Okay, I did make this one up — both the clue and the score.
In reality, Becky goes back to the butt but can’t ring in in time.
Becky Lynch’s Triple Jeopardy mini-comeback ends up backfiring, as her negative 500 magically becomes positive 500.
Yes, this pity move means Becky actually has money for the first time all game…
…but had she stayed at -1700, they might have given her +1700…
…and had she simply guessed every single answer wrong, she’d have had a runaway lead. Wolf Blitzer tried this.
Incredibly, Becky (along with Macaulay and winner Rachel) actually gets the last question right, bringing her to a grand total of 3 correct answers out of 91.
(For the record, my total was 71)
She celebrates with a strained smile and a sarcastic thumbs up.
Can we get a before-and-after on that?
Although a segment of Wrestling Twitter insists Becky Lynch is more famous than Taylor Swift (a female pop singer, for the uninitiated)…
…for most Jeopardy! viewers, this performance for the ages will be the first they’ve heard of Becky Lynch.
Nonetheless, Becky nets 30 grand. I know it’s for charity, but it still doesn’t seem fair.
At least make her give the flask back.