Wyatt Sicks Joined By Indie Doink

Wyatt Sicks WyattSicks WyattSick6 Wyatt 6 WWE

Birmingham, AL – In a surprise move, the final member of the new Wyatt Sicks faction has been revealed to be someone portraying Doink The Clown on the independent wrestling scene.

Over the years, several independent wrestlers have donned cheap costumes and performed under the Doink name at various high school gymnasiums, VFWs, and parking lots. Though never achieving the greatness of original heel Doink or even the nostalgic joy from face Doink, the portrayal has been good enough to get a shot with the new group.

Despite having the rights to the Doink image, WWE officials felt that having the cheap, knockoff version was far more disturbing.

“Just look at this…this…thing,” said WWE COO Triple H, motioning towards the dollar store Doink in catering. “You wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley. Or a well-lit alley. Look, I don’t want to meet him, just get him out there with the Wyatt Sicks and scare some kids.”

Sporting an ill-fitting bodysuit and generic clown luchadore mask with green yarn for hair, knockoff Doink stalked the warm food trays placed out for the talent and crew before Raw.

Members of the Wyatt Sicks, made up of Uncle Howdy, Erick Rowan, Nikki Cross, Dexter Lumis, and Joe Gacy, have been uneasy about the addition.

“I may be the manifestation of all things evil, but this guy gives me the creeps,” admitted Uncle Howdy.

“That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever smelled,” said Rowan, swirling a glass of wine.

“He makes whoopie cushion sounds when he breathes,” shuddered Cross.

Plans for the newest member are still unknown, but several reporters have confirmed that WWE is paying this indie Doink with a hot dog and a handshake after every appearance.

Discuss This Crap!